The Best of 2009…A Look Back Into The Future!

Ah, the holidays.
Tis the season for giving, receiving and the ubiquitous ‘Best of’ lists. The infamous ‘Best Of’ list is supposed to be a wrap up to remind us of the important and trivial events of the year, perhaps to let us glimpse just how far we’ve come. Or regressed…

As the Christmas shopping season begins earlier and earlier, the magazines, newspapers and blogs start cluttering our collective unconscious with their top ten lists. Some are critics and well studied on their subjects. Others just think we give a shit about a list of a few of their favorite things.

When faced with the task of creating a list like this, I looked for topics. My favorite live shows? I went to some great ones, but I’m sure I missed some great ones too. Best albums? No matter what I list, there will be some obscure indie hipster fave who will get left off. Best current events? I think most Americans would agree on the number one, and not really want to rank the others. Best personal events and triumphs? What the fuck is this? My diary?

The past is past. The future is where it’s at. Why focus on 2008, when we are at the doors of 2009? But how does one do a year end list for the events that have yet to happen? Clearly I’d need some clairvoyant help. I decided to enlist the help of famous Hollywood telepath, Psychic Girl. But what do you ask the girl who knows everything? What would my fellow music denizens really want to know about? If you could ask a psychic one question about music, what would it be? I polled a few of my friends…

Some people wanted to know about their favorite artists who have crossed over to the other side. Many asked after John Lennon and Freddie Mercury, raising a virtual 40 oz in their honor.

Rock writer and author of Cherry Bomb, Carrie Bozillo-Vrenna wanted to know “Who killed Kurt”?, as did fellow rock journo Rob Tannenbaum of Blender magazine. Obviously, there are many who still mourn the man and the mystery of his death.

Conversely, Alex Greenberg, of MSO PR, wanted to know who did in Biggie and Tupac, as well as: “Did Mama Cass really choke on a ham sandwich?” If so, that’s a crappy last meal.

Dan Lavery, of The Fray, would raise the dead in order to ask Beethoven the identity of his “Immortal Beloved”. Ah, Dan, don’t musicians hate revealing their muses? Otherwise, the men that have written songs about me would be more forthcoming about it.

Carrie also wanted to know who Carly Simon wrote “You’re So Vain” about. I’ve always thought it was about Warren Beatty though she denies it. Who else but Beatty would ‘gavotte’ in a ‘scarf that was apricot’?

Kevin Bronson of Buzz Bands wanted to plan the ultimate dinner party: “What would Noel Gallagher, Axl Rose and Billy Corgan say to each other over dinner?” And who would survive that meeting of rock trinity?

Eddie of Art Brut wanted another music mystery solved: “Where did Jonathan Richman bury the album he made with Phil Spector?” Good question…and are there bodies Phil has buried near by?

The Von Bondies‘ Jason and Don, asked questions that were a bit more existential. Jason wanted to know “Will rock n roll ever die?” I naturally told him it wouldn’t as long as the Bondies kept making music. Don, however, wanted to know “Do my drums like it when I hit them?” Don is special.

For those not wanting to communicate with specters or Spector, wanted a glimpse of the state of the future music industry. Would it remain the same? Improve? Can the industry fix itself? Should those of us, who toil in the world of tunes, stick with it? Or get the hell out?

Time to bring in the expert. With the holiday party season in full swing, a meeting in person was impossible, but Psychic Girl Justine Kenzer assures me a phone session would be just as telling.

When I begain asking questions about music in 09, Justine tells me the story about her American Idol predictions a few years back. When asked on the record who would be the big winner between Chris Daughtry, Katherine McPhee and Taylor Hicks, Kenzer chose Daughtry which seemed like a safe bet. Of course most of the country was surprised when he was eliminated early. There were some that doubted her veracity…however, time proved that Kenzer was right… though Hicks won the tv show/contest, at the end of the year, it was Daughtry who was the year’s ‘big winner’ with a hit album that left the others in the dust. It’s a small senamtics distinction, but an important one…how I phrase the question would affect my answer.

I first ask about the music industry…would it survive? Kenzer answers that it looked to be more of the same. Which is to be expected. Labels need to find different avenues to get their artists out there, be it by internet, TV placement or other innovated ways. With radio’s power waning, people will flood the web and alternative outlets to be heard. Kenzer also commented on the over saturation of the market. With more and more bands becoming savvy to myspace, you tube and the likes, it becomes harder and harder for a band to break through. This seems to be prevalent in 09 as well.

I ask about Grunge. With new baby bands like the Yelling and Dead Confederate spreading their teen spirit, will plaid and Seattle come back in vogue? Unfortunately to my grunge loving ways, Kenzer doesn’t see this as a big trend.

Though the singer/songwriter “Hotel Cafe” type music will continue to grow rapidly. Good news for many of my troubadour friends. As for other genres,

–Hip Hop, which has dominated for years, will still be around, but in a bit of a decline.

–Celebrity DJs will still steal the spotlight from their hardworking vinyl scratching friends, but serato will never kill of the art of turntablism. Thank god.

–Pop music will always have a place in music’s heart, even if some of it is more like a pulmonary aneurism.

I wanted to test the waters with some specifics, so I named some 2008 movers and shakers off the top of my head,to see if their wattage will continue in the new year.

–Katy Perry will continue to strrrrretch her one hit wonder career into a nice little cushion, when she expands her fan base overseas.

–MGMT fever will be under control next year…taking only what they needed from us already.

–Kings Of Leon will continue to get radio play and remained an established rock act.

–Radiohead will not treat us to another album just yet. Kenzer sees a turmoil or heaviness surrounding the group, but that could be the theme of almost every song they’re written.

–Kanye West will continue to have a great influence on music. Though I love his outspokenness the same way one loves a jester, I still think he’s overrated – an R. Kelly with an effects pedal. Apparently both the public, and the stars think I’m wrong.

–Coldplay, who may be winding down their current collaboration, will remain on top, though the pending plagiarism law suit with Joe Satriani will not go away. Is there some validity to Joe’s claim? Perhaps. The controversy will put some of their reputation in jeopardy, but won’t affect sales. Good news for Apple and Moses.

My final music question was about my beloved Blur. Were the new rehearsals going well? Can Damon and Graham keep it together and keep on keeping on? Is there a Coachella Blur set in our future? Not as of yet, says Kenzer, but that could change in the near future.

A tiny bit of possible Tender-ness. A small glimmer of hope for 2009. What else could one want? Oh, and yes, apparently that special man will finally win me over next year.

Dear Diary, looks like 2009 will be superfine.

If you’d like to schedule a reading, you can contact Psychic Girl at www.psychicgirl.com

Funky Sole Gets Down For More Soul In Los Angeles

When the funk and soul was unplugged a few months ago, the citizens of Los Angeles cried out: Please dont stop the music…their Angelino prayers have been heard – Funky Sole lives again.

LA’s longest running funk party will relocate to The Echo this Saturday night, marking it’s return to it’s East Side roots. That’s right. Sole is back – still free and still funky.

Back in 2001, Funky Sole was started at Rudolphos in Silverlake by Music Man Miles (Miles Tackett), founder of the band Breakestra and promoter of the popular LA night Root Down. Joined by DJ Egon of Stones Throw records, Tackett says they created the night as a place to ‘share the raw funk music crawling out of their crates with the folks of LA.’

Music Man Miles

Soon after, the multi talented Tackett (who has produced for many including Macy Gray, Dilated Peoples, Cut Chemist, and plays bass and cello) and the Sole crew moved the party to the Star Shoes bar on the Cahuenga Boogie and was joined by guest DJ Cut Chemist. In fact, the club became a place for DJ superstars all over the globe to try out beats or dust off some hard to find tracks they’ve never had the chance to play before.

Cut Chemist at Funky Sole

Guest Djs have included DJ Muro, Cut Chemist, Keb Darge, DJ Shadow, Peanut Butter Wolf, and Andy Votel. In 2008, they also branched out into world beat psychadelia which included new Funky alum Jeremy Sole of KCRW.  “Few cats on this planet have a rare Funk & Soul collection that rivals Miles’, and even fewer have the chops to put a seamless DJ set together like our man.” says Sole, whose Afro Funke party on the West Side runs on Thursday nights.

 

Jeremy Sole

Funky Sole moved south a few blocks to Jimmy’s Lounge, adding a gem to their roster, musical sage DJ Clifton (aka Soft Touch) became a resident on the decks. Clifton sees the care of the crate digger as the reason for the night’s popularity.

‘I think the appeal and success of the night can be attributed to the dj’s enthusiasm for the music…We have spent small fortunes collecting records and would do so even if there wasn’t an outlet to spin. I think club goers recognize this and that enthusiasm rubs off on them…it’s also the main reason big name guests, like PBW and Lucas (MacFadden), come to play at Funky Sole. No matter how big they are or what other styles they may spin at other venues, inside they are collectors as well. Funky Sole is a place where they can come and spin records that they love but might not be appreciated elsewhere.”

 

Dj Clifton (Soft Touch)

That fervent love for the sound of soul doesn’t go unnoticed by both patrons and turntablists alike. Says Jeremy Sole: ”Funky Sole is the only other residency I’ve taken on in LA, because Miles and Clifton have developed the perfect sound, energy and following for this sure-shot spot.”

It is to Tackett’s credit that this club las lasted this long. When the average Hollywood bar’s shelf life is smaller than the real estate on a 45, Funky Sole has a large fan base of regulars  and  a consistently fantastic soundtrack which features new classics and rare tracks. 

Miles Tackett on the decks

Now, that it’s back on the east side, Angelinos can get down without the hassles of bridge and tunnel traffic, valet parking or other Hollywood styled amateur night insults.

Pure fun and pure funk, just the way Tackett intended it and exactly how his Sole crew serve it up each week.

For more information, visit www.myspace.com/funkysole

Fifteen Will Get You Twenty – Space 15 Twenty Caters To Young Hipsters With Disposable Cash

As Hollywood leaves behind the years of dingy, depressed streets, tourist trap souvenir shops and head shops, it ushers in a shiny, plasticine veneer covering everything from revolving nightclubs which go out within a year, late night eateries and ‘museums’ tributing anything from show biz to lingerie…but something is missing.

Where can a hipster go to do some pre clubbing shopping? Where can they congregate to gossip about the ‘Cahuenga Boulevard boogie’?

The answer is Space 15 Twenty.

Nestled at the edge of Cahuenga between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard, 15 Twenty is a hipster heaven. Currently the open air mall boasts an Urban Outfitters for the retro, ironic kids…

Urban Outfitters

…an A Life for the ballers, complete with a giant urinal…

piss off!

…What Comes Around Vintage for the posh spice kids who can spend a couple k on vintage couture…

What Comes Around Costs More The 2nd Time Around

…an art gallery for the erudite wine drinkers…

…an architect bookstore for the brainiac scenesters and a snack bar serving up ironic junk food one could find at any music festival, like pop corn, Izze and beer.

At the opening part last week, the Space had i Tunes darlings Chairlift play their warbling indie rock for a jaded crowd. Although a good smattering of people watched excitedly, for many it was more of an obstacle to their air kissing, gossiping and hair flipping.

NY indie rockers Chairlift play at 15 Twenty

While I must admit I did drool over some of the choice finds at What Comes Around, a vintage gaultier coat, several Alaia dresses and a slew of YSL and DVF…

absolutely fabulous

And I did quite like the high tech goth of Urban Outfitter’s annex store for Samantha Pleet…

Samantha Who?

I must admit that 15 Twenty did underwhelm.

gangsta garanimal

Perhaps it’s because the place is designed to capture the attention of kids who scoff at the faux punk of the commercial mall rat swathed in Hot Topic, but think nothing of conforming to the electro-nerd costume of American Apparel. Perhaps it was the jaded “been there, done that, bought the $500 dollar t shirt’ crowd. Or perhaps it’s just stores that cater to disaffected youth in a time when everyone SHOULD be affected by the monumentus current events, but something about this space left me cold…perhaps it was the crisp night air on a cold, LA, 65 degree night.

Hopefully things will warm up soon.

R.I.P Bettie Page

Legendary pin up/fetish model Bettie Page died in Los Angeles last night.

Not only was she a pop culture icon, who bucked trends, she paved the way for many revivals which included the rockabilly look that still skulks around hipster corners today.

Many actresses and musicians have cribbed her look, including Madonna, Uma Thurman, Demi Moore and a wide range of Goth tarts that play top 40 today.
The LA Times wrote:

“David Stevens, creator of the comic-book and later movie character the Rocketeer, immortalized her as the Rocketeer’s girlfriend. Fashion designers revived her look.
There were Bettie Page playing cards, lunch boxes, action figures, T-shirts and beach towels. Her saucy images went up in nightclubs. Bettie Page fan clubs sprang up. Look-alike contests, featuring leather-and-lace and kitten-with-a-whip Betties, were organized.

Slippery When Wet

Imagine a world where nothing was prohibited. We have so many rules, so many people telling us what we can and can’t do. Doesn’t it just magnetize us towards the very thing we are being kept from?

There was a time when drinking was illegal all together. It didn’t really prevent it – it just led to bathtub moonshine, speakeasies, and a lot of crime. Thanks god we are now permitted to poison ourselves if we so choose.

And in celebration of that right, that’s exactly what I did.

Downtown Los Angeles became a prohibition busting pub crawl on December 5th. Celebrating the 75th year since our country repealed the prohibition laws, bars such as The Edison, plus Cedd Moses’s 7 Grand, The Golden Gopher, The Broadway Bar and the new Coles offered 75 cent drinks. Those who didn’t feel like standing in the bread line could fill up on grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup at depression era prices.

7 Grand, a dark bar that resembles a library owned by a wealthy man with a taxidermy fetish, was home to the Dewars Repeal Party. When we arrived, several 1930′s styled gangsters marched outside with picket signs bearing slogans such as Repeal Prohibition! Tonight, their protests garnered instant results.

Upon entering, patrons were handed feather boas or fedoras to help transport them back to 1933. Pins were handed out emblazoned with the slogan ‘Stay Wet!’ As if we needed prompting. At the bar, mixologists were slinging ‘old fashioneds’ and ‘sidecars’.

model molls

Rony Alwin had his photo booth set up for patrons to knock back a whole bottle of Dewars or perhaps just primp and flirt in their flapper attire.

Rony and his photobooth

Bryan Chenault booked an evening of various entertainers, including comedian Blaine Capatch as the party’s host. Blaine, an old Mr. Show compatriot of mine, steered the evening, starting with a stand up performance by Morgan Murphy.

Morgan Murphy and Blaine Capatch

Bryan has a delicious snack

The night was also peppered with several rounds of burlesque dancers, including a rather titilating performance by Lily Von Schtupp who poured shots of whiskey from the nipples of her bustier. Talk about mother’s milk.

Mother's milk

In between acts, DJs Chris Holmes and Daisy O’Dell kept it old school on the decks with some 30′s era chart toppers. The musical act of the evening was indie band Foreign Born, whose tepid folksy rock prompted some on the patio to dub them Snorin Born. Luckily the revelrers didn’t allow that to slow them down.

Chris Holmes and Daisy O'Dell

But the true high light of the night was the whiskey that flowed freely.

DJ Dirty Dave & Ali On The Air in Rony's photobooth

The more Dewars that was poured, the more the people poured into the bar, jamming it with hipsters dressed like the swing crew from the musical Chicago. As the night wore on, the patrons began to do the drunken weave, trying to stand upright without falling over. 7 Grand was certainly slippery when wet.

TC Conroy and I held court at a table in the back room with a bunch of jaunty gentlemen, when we noticed trays of delicious mac and cheese were being brought out. Hallelujah! Kudos to Dewars and 7 Grand for dreaming up the perfect hang over special and bringing it out just in time to sober up before the ride home.

Ali On The Air & TC Conroy holding court

TC surreptitiously grabbed a plate for our table and began to spoon out some cinco de maco, when suddenly the staff opened the double doors revealing hundreds of hungry, hungry hipsters. TC’s eyes widened as a stampede of drunks ran towards her like bloodthirsty zombies. In seconds the room was packed in a cheesy orgy. I give props to T for risking her life for us and even more so for returning to our table unscathed…and with a full plate of cheesy goodness.

As the night drew to a close, I teetered towards the exit, cursing my food and drink intake for the day: two cups of coffee, a salad, about eleventy Dewars drinks and a plate of macaroni and cheese. I didn’t have to celebrate the Repeal of prohibition so hard. After all, it’s been seventy five years since it happened and I’ve been legally drinking for twenty some odd years. But what’s a girl in a feather headrdess and faux fur stole to do? I am only one woman and cannot fight the tide of change…or an open bar. My only option? To stay wet.

This Sex Was On Fire

When a major landmark or institution closes or is destroyed, it’s common for a mourning period to follow. The passing of monument will be an elegiac era of super size proportions which will break hearts and hard ons across the world…yes, early this morning, a fire gutted The Body Shop in Los Angeles.

photo credit: Al Seib

There are four men in particular who are probably at this moment, dabbing their eyes with black lacy g-strings. These are the stalwart citizens who immortalized the establishment in their song, Girls, Girls, Girls. In a way, Motley Crue are both artists and patrons of the arts. For their tribute to dancing girls undoubtedly raised the profile of the oft scorned art of totally nude strip dancing.

The Body Shop has graced the Sunset Strip since the 40s where it once was a burlesque club. Luckily, it was transformed into an all nude dancing theater just in time for the hair metal stampede down the Sunset Strip. It even paid the rent of many budding, hungry ‘actresses’, Courtney Love being one. I never had the pleasure of frequenting this particular establishment. When I was researching the art of stripping for a play I had written, my cast mates and I kept to Crazy Girls and Cheetahs, which was titilating enough to mess with our heads in a method acting sorta way. So, I can’t properly relate to the loss of this mecca of culture, but I realize the pain is deep.

Theater of the absurd

There is no exact word on how the fire started, though my money is on someone ‘smokin in the boys room’ (sorry, had to). There are plans to rebuild the Shop, but it will remain shuttered until those renovations are done. Where, o where, will these generous men go to appreciate bodies in motion? Where will they find long legs, burgundy lips, red lips and fingertips? How will they keep fledgling models ‘over-employed’? Where can these doctors go to feel good?

model/actress/nameless

These patrons need to look no further than the dulcet tones of Vince Neil’s humble suggestions. How about a trip to sunny Florida? The Dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale could cure your blues. If humidity isn’t your bag, Hotlanta has Tattletails AND a Waffle House. Two treats in one! If you’re up for a ski lift, Vancouver’s Marble Arc will fill your need for tats and ass. Gay Paree seems like nothing of the sort, if you take in the double ‘D’s at the Crazy Horse. Or in French, Le Cheval Fou.

benjamins and booty

Of course Los Angeles is a veritable cornucopia of sin dens. There’s Jumbo’s Clown Room. That is the premiere place to watch greasy hipsters watch a broken anorexic sadly strip to Radiohead’s Karma Police. Cheetahs is more of the rockabilly girls scarred with cigarette burns, vibe. And the Crazy Girls are all about the benjamins waiting to lap dance a benefactor. I’m sure if Vince and Tommy are in town you can still find them raising ‘hail’ (hell) at the Seventh Vail.

Too fast for love

I know, I know…they’re just not the same as the infamous Body Shop. Again, my heart leaps out of my 34 C chest for all of these philandering philanthropists. These are tough times. They are times of change. They are times of joining hands and helping your fellow man.

I suggest that all ladies out there be kind to their fellow man. In fact, you can help your favorite fellow man, just by doing a strip tease in the comfort of your own home. Think of it as a form of physical therapy to get him through the night…and the many nights to come, without the Body Shop.