Grammys: Meet the New Prom King, Same As The Old Prom King

It’s prom weekend in Hollywood and the parties and secret shows leading up to the Grammys have already begun. Why anyone would leave their house for a secret Black Eyed Peas show after their disaster at the Super Bowl last week, is beyond me, but someone is still buying their albums. If you can give me a VALID reason why, by all means, email me.

My picks for the best of the weekend are the not-so-secret Arcade Fire show at the El Rey which hearty fans have been sleeping overnight on cold concrete to get tickets for…

and the intimate Crystal Method show at downtown LA’s Exchange.

I’ve been a fan of Crystal Method for a long time – so much so that I put Ken in my short film,  DJ Intervention. They’re one of the best electronic acts in America and this is a small place to catch them so if you’re lucky enough to be in LA, do it.

As for the other parties and shows, yes I’m jaded, but they all seem to turn into the same thing after a while. People standing in suits or bad studded t-shirts knocking back drinks staring at each other. For me the entertainment of the night makes the party and I’m not feeling it if the act of the night is someone like Katy Perry.

Speaking of, Let’s all take a deep breath and just look at what the Grammys has become. What is really being rewarded? Can the nominees actually play instruments anymore? The cast of Glee is nominated alongside actual bands who write music, when the kids from Glee are basically a cover band. I’d love for the buoyant Cee-Lo to win on Sunday, but is anyone allowed to dethrone Jay-Z?

It’s like High School and the Prom King has already been chosen.

Sure, every year an Arcade Fire or Sara Bareilles slips in and we rejoice. Mumford And Sons gets to offset a question mark inducing performance by Usher and we heave a sigh of relief, but nothing really changes. We go back to coveting our precious playlists on our ipods and shaking our heads in wonderment at the billboard top ten list. Who is voting them in? Ke$ha? Who is downloading Ke$ha? Can’t we, as a society, say no to Ke$ha? If we are to become a better nation, we must start from the ground level, and say no to Ke$ha…

We all have our battles to pick. I am asking you. Just pick one. Maybe it’s Katy Perry. Maybe it’s Ke$ha. Perhaps you will refuse to help BEP get the party started. Maybe you will not participate in Bieber fever. I’m just asking you to IGNORE one of the mediocre auto-tuned fast food artists and instead check out a new artist. Do some digging. Go to your local record store and ask what they recommend. There’s a LOT of music out there and it can be overwhelming. But listening to what is thrown at you in Target and Pepsi commercials because it’s easy, isn’t the best option. There’s better things to listen to.

Happy Grammys! Hope your date puts out for you.

Side note: As of late my posting has lessened due to some other projects I have coming up. You can always find me on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alimaclean and now on http://www.witstream.com

I will have more exciting news soon!

Billabong’s ‘Design For Humanity’ Proves Hollywood Hipsters Have None

Thursday night, Billabong and Paramount Studios hosted the 4^th annual Design For Humanity event to raise money and awareness for Invisible Children, a non-profit that helps children and families affected by the war in Uganda.

Invisible Children exhibit

I’ve been a supporter of Invisible Children for sometime now, as when I helped begin The Voice Project, Invisible Children was a model for what we wanted to achieve. The atrocities going on there are unbelievable. Joseph Kony is currently terrorizing five countries and it’s the longest running conflict on the continent of Africa, yet no one seems to know about it.

I admit I was a bit dubious about a bikini fashion show and block party helping the cause, but with popular artists such as Fischerspooner and Kid Sister on the bill, I was hoping for a fervent crowd of people ready to pitch in and make a difference.

The New York Streets of Paramount were decked out with food trucks, step and pose red carpets, the Hit + Run t shirt silk screening stations, Carmichael art gallery auctions, live art stations and, of course a Lakers/Celtics screen so the Lakers fans could watch their team go down in flames.

Different sections had popular DJs like Classixx and Pase Rock spinning for the upwardly mobile hipster crowd who swilled drinks and noshed for the charity while they waited for the fashion show and upcoming musical performances.

live painting at Design For Humanity event

As we sat awaiting the beginning of the fashion show, a film reel began, showing the Invisible Children efforts in Uganda…only to be drowned out by a DJ playing ‘Bust A Move’ by Young MC. Now, I’m a fan of busting a move and early nineties novelty songs. Who isn’t? But shouldn’t there be an ounce of gravitas given the nature of the film being shown? No? OK, moving on.

As a whole, the event was mildly entertaining. Billabong designed for humanity, if humanity is going to start dressing like the jail bait waifs on the new 90210.

a design for humanity

Kid Sister was a little like watching your kid sister put on a show. Then, Casey Spooner led his Tharpy twitchy dancers in a revamped version of his show, Between Worlds, sans the musical albatross around his neck, “Emerge”.

Casey Spooner & Company

After, my friend and I headed to the Invisible Children exhibit set up in a store-front across from the Carmichael gallery. There patrons could see the film reel, unfettered by MCs, rappers or movers, busting. There were also photographs of the children forced to fight in the war all around the room as well as the weapons they were forced to use, on display.

children with guns

It was a sobering moment and one that makes you count your blessings.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a gaggle of girls in skin tight party dresses holding the guns, gangsta style, taking sexy pictures with their Iphones. One after the other, they posed with these weapons between their legs, licking the guns, humping them. I was immediately nauseated.

Then a few other hipsters picked up the hand grenades in the exhibit and mimed lobbing them at each other in a photo op frenzy. This went on for over twenty minutes. Dozens and dozens of different disaffected creeps played paparazzi with the weapons with the giant pictures of child soldiers looming over their heads. After fighting the urge to vomit on their American Apparel onesies, I asked a few of them why they were taking these pictures.

“Well, like, everyone else was doing it, and we thought it was fun.” Said one girl who clearly knew her spirit animal was a soulless cockroach.

I understand the need to entertain people for the money they plunk down for a ticket to a charity event, for it to be ‘fun’…but feet away there is a movie showing a genocide. So maybe a PARTY isn’t the way to raise money and awareness anymore. Maybe bikinis, Young MC, and cosmo martinis isn’t the way to get the message across that shit is rough in other parts of the world. Hell, shit is rough RIGHT HERE.

The problem is, these people think nothing about plunking down $30-$150 bucks to hang out with Kid Sister on the Paramount lot and ogle girls in bikinis. They didn’t really have to do anything proactive. Hell, they can even buy the tickets from their freaking iphone. That is, if they’re not already on the guest list.

What they don’t have to do is change. Anything. Their behavior, the laws, American foreign policy, Uganda, war, or they way humans treat each other. Which was evident by the pushing at the line for the bar.

Kid Sister and hipsters

I’ve been to a lot of Hollywood charity events. I’ve even participated in some. Some raise good money and are helpful. But most of them are a bigger PR push for the DJs and club promoters/energy drink sponsors that throw them. I guarantee if you polled the guests leaving some of these events that less than half could tell you the cause they were drinking for.

So maybe instead of throwing events for charity, how about we take the money and give it DIRECTLY to the charity. Or INVEST it in helping the people who need it.

I hope this event raised a lot of money. It seemingly failed, to raise ANY awareness or consciousness. In fact, I think that it proved the average Hollywood hipster’s devolution and frankly I’m disgusted.

If you would like to learn more about, donate to or get involved with Invisible Children, please visit INVISIBLE CHILDREN

Foreigner Plays For The Beautiful People – Checkitnsee

With an onslaught of press releases and invites, I have the humble luck of being highly selective with my night time activities. That being said, I can seem to be quite the jaded gal, a retired hipster – party girl, interrupted.

How many open bar/energy drink special/free t shirt/ipod dj events can one succumb to until you slowly numb out and freeze to death right in the middle of Cauhenga Boulevard? My Facebook event inbox tips well over into the hundreds which I barely read any more. I’m not showing off…I’m just protesting the glut of white noise.

Sometimes it takes something extra to motivate me to cover an event, find an angle, do the interview, write the article, put on the push up bra…unless it’s free champagne and FOREIGNER. Stop the presses.

I do love my indie rock. I appreciate the singer songwriters. I love my atmospheric sweeping geniused gems. I love my dirty bluesy garage rock. I love punk ditties. BUT, classic rock and hair metal will stop me in my tracks. I’ll admit it. When I am in my car, I’m a radio flipper. I don’t use the ipod. I scan…and I find myself bored a lot with the new music stations. I often keep going back to the classic rock of KLOS. Perhaps I’m becoming an old curmudgeon. Perhaps I am just in a Zep phase…but I just want to be comforted by people who wrote their own songs, who play their own guitars, who seduce you with a solo, and who never used auto tune, even if they can’t quite hit those high notes.

I love some of these KLOS bands, not in an ironic way. Def Leppard? It’s no Mysteria why. Scorpions? What’s wrong with a night of sin? Foreigner? I’m not shy (and I used to get around).

Most of the people attending the I Heart Ronson/JC Penny event last night were there to toast Charlotte Ronson’s t shirt line for the huge department chain, or flaunt their fashionista wares, or gawk and stare at the fabulous kids who sell People Magazine.

I went to see Foreigner. Not ironically.

Mick Jones of Foreigner is the step father of designer Charlotte, music producer/scenester Mark Ronson who DJed, and DJ/scenester Samantha Ronson who, ahem, sang an opening set.

Moving through an acoustic set of hits like Double Vision, Dirty White Boy, and I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner then debuted a new song that Micks’ step son Mark produced. The band then ended with a spirited rendition of Hot Blooded, which even the teenage models and disaffected reality celebutantes, seemed to recognize. Maybe because it’s the anthem of making it ok to be a groupie?

Many of the well dressed lookliloos stayed on hand to sample the over abundance of free junk food and open bar cocktails and to hear Samantha spin, but with Foreigner leaving the stage, my interest plummeted.

It’s about the music.

Serato Is Not A Pasta – DJ Intervention Starts Now

I’ve written many times before about the difference between a legit DJ and the hobbyists who like the idea of having their playlist heard on a Friday night for a little cash in their pocket.

If it’s true that ‘Anyone Can Play Guitar’ then it’s even more true that anyone can DJ, especially when you can download Serato for free…but forget beat matching. That rarely even enters into the equation anymore. In today’s club scene a dilettante can get paid four or five thousand dollars and show up with their i pod just because they fucked someone famous and the promoter thinks thats cool and bitchin and shit.

OK, the novelty of seeing the cast of Gossip Girl fumble around with a mixer might be an initial draw but then what? I’ll tell you what. If it’s a nightclub with a dance floor, the real DJ has to come in and save their ass and make sure there’s actual music playing.

Now, not all venues have to have banging house tunes. Many bars and clubs these days want a lo fi, bring-your-own-stuff-to-spin atmosphere, and that’s cool. But the difference is: no one is being paid obnoxious amounts of money for something they downloaded off itunes a few hours before.

I’ve been hired to spin at certain clubs around Los Angeles, mainly because I know music. I’ve been asked to spin records (yes, I use vinyl) in between bands performing at venues…and even though I have been on air at a few different radio stations, I don’t really consider myself a working DJ. On air personality? Yes. A DJ? Not really.

Do I love to search for records? Sure. I like to go to Counterpoint and flea markets. I’ll drag boyfriends and family members to vintage shops and dusty record bins while on vacation until they beg me to stop. However, I don’t make special crate digging trips to Japan or Israel or Brazil like Pete Rock or Cut Chemist do, for the SOLE PURPOSE of collecting rare records. That is LOVE of the craft. That is why those guys should be hired to do the job.

Pete Rock crate digging for vinyl gold

And then some dick promoter is going to pay Peaches Geldof a shit ton of money to “DJ” their party?

When I see the amount of hard work someone like DJ Z Trip or Rhettmatic has put into their careers, only to see some trust fund kid with a chip on his shoulder and a personal paparazzo by his side, breeze by and get flown all over the world for 5 and 6 figure gigs…when I’ve seen that same trust fund fucker literally plug his i pod in at a venue and then walk away from the DJ booth to pose for pictures and pound drinks…it infuriates me for the hard working DJs out there.

Z Trip's first love

I’m not saying that not every celebrity sucks at DJing. Carlos D from Interpol has been DJing for years and only uses vinyl. It seems to me he has a real love for it and puts a lot of time and energy into it. Therein lies the difference. Are you in it because you love it? Or are you doing it for the photo op? Cause most of us can tell, you know.

Club owners: Stop paying good money for shitty product. You want the cast of Twilight to DJ your party? Fine. Don’t pay them. They’re not DJs. Give them a bottle of Grey Goose and set them up in a booth in the corner. You can take a photo of them standing near the DJ booth for the starfucker page on your website and leave the DJing to someone with chops.

Festival bookers: Really? Six figures for a DJ who’s crap?  We’re not that high. Stop it.

Last fall, after another night where Z Trip had to follow another “DJ” train wreck, he took to twitter and ranted which I have to admit, I egged on and on. Our tweets ultimately gave me the idea for this film…this is part one of an ongoing series of DJ INTERVENTION.

If you like it, pass it on to all of your friends who may need some help. We know you’re out there and we want you to get the help you deserve…

Or you can vote for it here on Funny Or Die:

DJ Intervention, Part 1 – watch more funny videos

Part Two to come soon!!

Two Sonic Love Letters: Findlay Brown & Sade

Forget candy hearts and wilted flowers. The way to really get to the heart of another is through the power of music.

If you really want to get laid, or hell even hitched this Hallmark holiday, there are two albums on the scene which will not only help you accomplish this task, but might even help you fall in love…with music all over again.

Findlay Brown, a young Yorkshire crooner calls himself a musical obsessive. After being struck by a car and laid up with a broken leg, Brown studied music so intently, downloading track after track of Phil Spector and Carole King Brill Building era songs and studying his favorite genre, became steeped in 60s sound before he wrote a single note on his new album, Love Will Find You.

Produced by Bernard Butler (Suede), Love Will Find You has the haunting, lilting vocals of a bygone Orbison tune and the songwriting craftsmanship of Lennon/McCartney or The Righteous Brothers. Brown claims that he was ‘unashamed’ to be sentimental when creating the album. In his favorite era, the 60′s, there was a romanticism that was present. People connected with the music and with each other.

True, in this digital age, with people often standing behind a laptop onstage, there is a greater disconnect between performer and audience member. Robot music is sometimes entertaining but no one would ever call it heartwarming or…sexy. Findlay Brown’s live show was both those things. The set was dynamic and well crafted, and it made me wistful for a time when we all looked each other in the eye and held meaningful conversations instead of texting each other.

If you want to make your sweetheart swoon, pick up a copy of Findlay Brown’s Love Will Find You.

No one is a stranger to the slow jam power of sexy Sade…But now she is back and she is NOT playing around. She recently dropped her new album, Soldier of Love, which in turn dropped jaws owned by the most jaded hipsters and seasoned music vets I know.

There’s something about Sade that makes the ‘too cool for school’ just want to get up and get down. Hell, she can make a song about GETTING LAID OFF sound sexy. When was the last time talking about being out of work for two years made you want to get up and dance and get sexed?

Well, this might change your mind:

With so many useless wars and fighting going on, thank god we have the queen Smooth Operator Sade, as our soldier of love.

Here’s the Soldier Of Love video:

May The Farce Be With You – Darth Stewie and Family Guy Are Back In Space

Calling all Stewie and Lord Darth fans! There’s a tremor in the force and there’s a party to prove it.

Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Darkside arrives  Blu-ray and DVD December 22. A follow-up to the 2008 Star Wars spoof “Blue Harvest,” this time around the Griffin clan packs light saber sharp wit as they parody the classic sequel The Empire Strikes Back.  Luke (Chris), Leia (Lois), Han Solo (Peter) and Chewbacca (Brian) have evaded the dreaded Imperial Starfleet led by the cunning, conniving and curiously short evil lord Darth Vader (Stewie), setting up a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.  With the rebellion in trouble, young Skywalker must take the advice of his late, and rather lascivious, mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert) and learn the ways of the “farce” under Jedi Master Yoda (Carl) to save the galaxy once and for all.

In honor of all things Stewie and of course, the many wars that Lucas brought us, a special press event will be happening in a galaxy far far far away called Miami. Taking place at the Art Basel Festival, the event will feature a 45 foot Darth Stewie parade balloon, stormtroopers, light sabers, drink specials and giveaways. Super special guest DJ Daniel from Ladytron on the ones and twos. He doesn’t disappoint sonically and, ladies, he is very easy on the eyes, so I’d get down there if you are South Beach adjacent.

The best part about it is, if you live near this Floridian cantina, you can go for free! Yes, you can walk up to the door man, wave your hand in front of his face and use your Jedi mind tricks on him and tell him to let you in for free. He’ll think it’s hilarious because you’ll definitely be the first to do that all night. But if you rsvp’d, he will have to let you in anyways.

Here are the party details.

Wednesday December 2, 2009

The Vagabond
30 NE 14th Street
Downtown Miami

And since ’tis the season of giving, and I’m feeling a bit charitable, I’m going to give away a DVD prize packages (including DVD and mini-poster). To win, follow me on twitter at @aliontheair and tweet me your favorite scene from Family Guy. The one that makes me laugh the hardest wins. That’s it! I mean, it sure beats waiting in line in some Black Friday scam. Voila. Instant Xmas present. Though, if I were you, I’d keep it for myself.

Little Dragon, Sea Wolf, Shadow, Part Of KCRW’s Thriller Night

A KCRW affair is always a classy one. This year’s Halloween Masquerade did not disappoint. From the gorgeous setting at the legendary Park Plaza to the central casting styled beautiful people in costumes fit for a movie shoot, there was everything needed for a visual and aural bacchanal.

The grand staircase of the Park Plaza was jammed with incredible ensembles ranging from clever to kitschy. There were the topical and predictable, like a Galifianakis in blu blockers with baby from The Hangover, to costumes so intricate they had moving parts which lit up.

There were hats and gloves, masks, tails and plumes, which scraped floors and door frames. The amount of glitter, feathers and fur left in clumps on the floor of the women’s bathroom made the place look like a kennel in Vegas.

Each level in the historic Neo-Gothic hall had a full bar, spooky projected visuals and grand gothic décor. Out in the back, the premier foodie trucks, Sprinkles Cupcakes, Koji Korean barbeque, Border Grill and Kool Haus served up treats to hungry ghouls.

Gothenberg’s electropoppers Little Dragon dressed in all black like Dieter dancers with brightly colored Aztec paper masks, played their synthy tunes for an enthusiastic crowd in the Bronze room. As Yukimi writhed and waved her oblong tambourine and atoned ala Siouxie over the poppy goth beat, the well dressed crowd didn’t waver for a moment.  She rewarded the audience by dancing harder and singing to the back of the house with Evita arms outstretched. There was a massive response for these Swedes. Angelinos want more Little Dragon and they want it immediately.

Little Dragon by Jeremiah Garcia

Upstairs, the crowd for Sea Wolf was just as great, even though Little Dragon’s set overlapped theirs – the only unfortunate problem during the evening – Alex Church and company took the stage decked out a la Day Of The Dead in black skeleton jumpsuits and white skull faces. True, I was a bit disappointed he wasn’t dressed as Teen Wolf (luckily KCRW DJ Eric Lawrence WAS dressed as the MJ Fox character) but that’s where my disappointment ended. Alex sang the new songs with a confidence I haven’t yet seen from him, which will serve him well once the New Moon hoopla snowballs into insanity.

The band launched into old favorites like ‘Songs For The Dead’ and ‘Black Dirt’, asking Big Bird, Super Mario Bros, Jack and Meg White, and several slutty showgirls in the front row to join the band on the stage steps. As they played their hit ‘You’re A Wolf’, the scary visuals being projected above dissolved into the twins from The Shining which almost pulled focus from the newly charismatic Alex Church. Almost.

Sea Wolf by Jeremiah Garcia

Downstairs, DJ Shadow took the decks with 45s, of course, spinning funk and old school favorites. In my eyes, Shadow was the ‘get’ of the night and the clear headliner. He is one of the premiere DJs of his time.

DJ Shadow by Jeramiah Garcia

Unfortunately, his crowd was a bit thin, due to the set times overlapping and the fact that he was up against the Jonestown-like fervor of Edward Sharpe and an electronic rave that Jason Bentley was commandeering on the top floor. I’ve never seen men in full Amadeus regalia and powdered wigs dance in a room that was hot enough for a Bikrams yoga class. It was like Bentley had them in a Trance trance and none of them could pull their overly made up bodies away.

Bentley's crowd by Jeremiah Garcia

Many people filed in the ballroom to watch the final band of the evening, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, perform. Alex Ebert and his polyphonic spree type cult of musicians crowded onto the stage and launched into pleasant singalong sounds. It’s funny to think of Ebert this way. I remember him with the bi-level razored hair and skinny Ima Robot jeans when his songs ‘Scream’ and ‘Dirty Life’ made me do a lil’ indie dance. That was before he made a pilgrimage to Pioneertown and started dressing in all white, all the time. Now, everyone is entitled to a sea change both musically and looks wise. I just wish I liked the new music as much as everyone else around me did. Even the guy dressed as a Golden Shower, danced like a Manson family member on a Joshua Tree LSD binge.

Edward Sharpe and Spree by Gary Leonard

I went back downstairs for more DJ Shadow and for some Garth Trinidad who brought the obvious missing element: Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Decked out as Moses, he used his great, ahem, staff, to part the wheat from the chaff and really make the zombies dance. On the floor. In the round.

Garth/Moses and his big staff

Thriller night, indeed. Something for everyone and each one of the senses provoked, the masked masses danced straight into the early hours of All Saints Day.

Alice Cooper In Wonderland

Sunset and Vines – Rock ‘n Roll Wine Uncorks At The Sunset Strip Music Festival

Rock has a reputation for being a beer and whiskey kinda night. OK, maybe a rum and coke, then a shot of tequila, then eleventy beers kinda night. But somewhere along the way, I traded in my plastic tumbler for a wine glass. If I drink much at all, I strictly drink wine.

It seems it’d be an uneven match, navigating the pogoing crowds with a refined glass of pinot noir. Well, one less reason to stand in the mosh pit, I suppose. My drink often brings scowls or claims of “That’s a big glass of stain you’re carrying around.” Better to stand safe and sound in VIP with, my dear.  Sure, My libation choice may have made me stick out like a sore thumb, but not anymore. Now there is something that perfectly satisfies my Uptown girl tastes and my Downtown girl edge: Rock ‘N Roll Wine.

Founded by Sommelier Chris Hammond and business partner Sonny Barton, Rock ‘n Roll Wine is a wine events company dedicated to revolutionizing the way people perceive, and enjoy wine. Rock ‘n Roll Wine produces monthly wine events in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Ann Arbor, in addition to making their own music-themed line of wines.

I’ve been to events they’ve had tastings at before. In fact, they were doling out delicious vino at a Swinghouse Studios event. It was so nice to go to a rock party and not be shoved a monster energy drink. I even had a choice between The Grotto, a California red blend with grenache, syrah, cab and a dash of Zin:

or a white muscat, roussanne, chardonnay blend called Reggae Rhapsody:

The company does pairings…that is, music and wine pairings. They suggest that MGMT might be a good listening choice while sipping some Grotto while Jack Johnson would be a more fitting way to enjoy a glass of Reggae Rhapsody. Beach side, of course. OK, neither of those overplayed KROQ artists are my cup of tea, or wine as it were…I’m still waiting for the wines that would be good for breaking out my Gang of Four or Neu! albums, but, hey, baby steps…

Along with the music pairing idea, the company often showcases the wine while artists play onstage nearby. They’ve done events with big artists such as Dashboard Confessional, Everclear, Ingrid Michaelson, Pat Monahan of Train and Low vs. Diamond, as well as emerging artists. Jangly indie rock act? Rock N Roll wines will have a nice cabernet pour for that. Singer/Songwriter about to take the stage? A pinot grigio will be chilling near by, waiting to be sampled.

And in honor of the beer and whiskey soaked Sunset Strip doing it up with their own festival, Rock ‘n Roll Wine is going to class it up this weekend too. Or as Rock ‘n Roll wine tipplers say: “Rock Out With Your Cork Out”. The company will help kick off the festival by hosting their event at the House of Blues VIP club Foundation Room on Friday, September, 11 and feature singer/songwriter Cofféy. The wine party will feature 15 hand-selected, wines from around the world, including Rock ‘n Roll Wine’s Reggae Rhapsody and The Grotto.

To purchase your tickets in advance, visit http://www.rocknrollwine.com or call 702-240-3066. Rock ‘n Roll Wine is offering a discount to those going to the Sunset Strip Music Festival. Enter code: SSMF when ordering tickets online and receive $5 OFF addmission.

I’ll be there, sampling the wines and the rock, which to me, seem the perfect combination. If I am going to rock out on the strip this weekend, it will most definitely be with my cork out.

Wolfmother Serves Epicenter Festival A Cosmic Egg, Sunny Side Up

The host hazy and dusty race tracks are not the normal habitat of wolves. No, I picture wolves living in the misty mountain hops of vampire infested forests up in Northern America. But I wasn’t interested in spotting your average wolves. I was jonesing to see the kind of hard rock wolves who are native to Australia’s open plains. Wolfmother. They will do just fine in Pomona’s Fairplex.

I kidnapped my British friend, Som, and we headed south, outside the comfortable political and social strata of Los Angeles county. for KROQ’s Epicenter Music Festival. This being the inaugural year, they nabbed headliners Tool, Linkin Park and Alice In Chains but upon arriving, it seems that not even metal/grunge/rock juggernauts could overpower an economy on life support. Of course there are always those with disposable incomes, or meth labs in their basements…

As the backstage area slowly filled with Monster energy drink abusers of all types, the gifting suite filled up with ear plug hawkers and a laser tag course (with air rifles) was constructed in the massive media/artist building. I was quickly and succinctly shot in the face by a man in a Return Of The Jedi shirt, who was on a laser shooting spree while carrying on a cell phone conversation. C’est la Pomona vie.

The dusty field slowly became dotted with barrel-chested men in black Tool shirts, Street Sweeper Social club were adequately received, save for a few boos lobbed at them when they made political statements about sending troops overseas to fight in Iraq. You’re not in Los Angeles, anymore, Morello. Click your Hollywood heels three times. These men like their guns. And my guess is they don’t want you to kill their grandma with healthcare options.

As Som sought out his friends in the band, Hollywood Undead, I managed to spot an Australian red backed wolf, in fact the leader of his pack. Andrew Stockdale and I sat in the back of the artist tent, near where the caterers were inexplicably serving up tray after tray of hot brussel sprouts…By the way, really? Brussel sprouts? How is that a rock n roll food? Like Linkin Park is gonna come rolling through and say “Oooh I’m gonna eat the crap outta those brussell sprouts!” But I digress…

Andrew and I lounged amidst the stench of rockin’ brussel sprouts and talked about his return to sunny LA, where the band had recorded their latest release, Cosmic Egg. Andrew wholeheartedly admitted that the October 13th drop date was a nod to my birthday. He knows better to disappoint me. I mean, he does live in the land down under, but LA is like his second home so he does have to worry about making me unhappy. And how did he feel about being back in his second home?

“I do like LA. I’m interested in all the different sides to it.”

Yeah, we know. Our city can be just as bi-polar as it’s inhabitants.  That’s why we self medicate or meditate. And speaking of our namaste ways, what of the folklore that Cosmic Egg was named after some crazy yoga pose Andrew found himself in?

“Yeah, I think it was some resting pose, I’m not sure. It could have been the fetal pose. It must have been a tripped out instructor for sure.”

Tripped out sounds about right. But the Cosmic Egg is also a Hindu symbol often used to describe what we call the big bang theory. Did that factor into naming the album?

“I was interested in something I read about black holes being the end of time but now they think they’re the beginning. So it’s the end of the beginning. Or, it’s a new universe. If that makes sense. I didn’t even know all that was behind the name when I heard it. I just thought it sounded cool!”

With all the talk about the beginning and the end of the universe, and 2012 quickly approaching, anyone who is still following he Mayan calendar would be getting a little uneasy. So is this the end of days? Or is the cosmic egg cracking open something wonderful and new?

“When I first started writing songs, there were a lot of environmental issues in the press and we did shows for lower emissions. So, some of my songs are about the end of the world. You know: ‘The sun’s getting closer! We’ve got to change our ways!’ But I’m glad there are only one or two songs in there like that. One of the songs is called ‘The Violence Of The Sun’…there’s nothing hippie about it. It’s this burning mass of destruction. The environment is violent. Evolution is violent.”

As out discussion starts to get farther from mysticism: (star showers, wolves, and eggs) and further into science and the temperature of the earth’s core, Andrew gets uneasy and balks.

“I don’t want to be overly intellectual about it.” He pauses and adjusts his grey vest. “Not that I could be.” He adds, laughing.

Well, then it seems that he’s come to the right place. I don’t want to generalize but after watching Boots Riley and Tom Morello get booed, the field outside seems to be a giant mass of duh being stirred up with beer and energy cocktails. Since when did it become uncool to be smart? Was it dummy pimps, like Palin, who made the intellectual a dirty name?

“You don’t have to be dumb,” Andrew starts out carefully, “but I think it’s important to be instinctive and expressive and have passion. That goes a long way. And not being too strategic too. I saw this thing on Picasso. He wanted to get one of his mistresses pregnant so she’d be less intellectual and more in tune with life.”

Point taken.  Intellect and instinct both have their place. And I am hereby doubling up on condoms. Just in case.

As his band mates begin to shuffle by and get ready to head toward the stage, I ask Andrew if he’s seen It Might Get Loud. He hasn’t yet, but we talk about Jimmy Page and Wolfmother’s big date, opening for Led Zeppelin when they were inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. I point out that they are most likely the last band to ever do so and that the pressure would drive someone like me to drink.

“I sat in the backstage area and played that solo (Communication Breakdown) about fifty times before we walked out there. The bizarre thing is that James Brown was there to induct himself and he looked over at me and I gave him a little wave and he waved back. He died the next day. It’s amazing. It’s like he stayed alive just for that.”

Andrew kind of pauses, lost in the moment. A cameraman tripping over himself in front of us brings Andrew back to storytelling mode.

“Anyway we went and did Communication Breakdown. My monitor on the stage stopped working. The sound was blaring. I couldn’t hear a thing so I thought I just better go for it. It was the highest I have ever sung in my life!”

I start to laugh, picturing Andrew’s already soaring voice reaching the outer galaxies. I mention to him that whales and dolphins across the seas were with him in spirit that day. He made a legion of marine life into Zep fans that day. He smiles at the thought. I think I might have just inspired some album art work or posters for the next round.

Andrew gets ready to rock the Pomonians, but before he does, I ask him one last question. If the epicenter is the point of an underground explosion, what does he think is the next underground explosion about to hit our culture?

“Aw, I haven’t even had time to think about good stuff like that. Easy listening? Bossanova! Like Jose Feliciano? Really beautiful bossanova music.

I tell him he could start the trend today. He’s got a big audience awaiting him with rapt attention.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll bring out the nylon string today.”

If anyone could pull it off, it would be Stockdale, who has managed to bring back a classic rock sound without aping the genre. Luckily for those about to rock out at the Epicenter Festival, Andrew and the wolf crew kept it hard and loud. Mixing some new blue cheer tunes like California Queen and New Moon Rising, with old popular Zep twinged tunes like Woman, White Unicorn and Dimension, the audience roared with a whole lotta love.

credit: Firecloud

The Cosmic egg was cracked and the kids gobbled it up and were left wanting more.

May I suggest maybe releasing a b–sides rarities album? Something with a dolphin on the cover.

Bikini Beats – Calvin Harris Makes A Humanthesizer

Ut oh. Another reason to work out… A LOT.

With electro tunes, ecstasy and Sparks, there isn’t much reason needed for nu rave kids to shed their clothes and rub up against each other on the dance floor, but Calvin has created another reason to wear nothing but one of those lame American Apparel bikinis – to actually create music.

Of course, when I lay down tracks in the studio, my models will all look like Rufus Sewell…but it’s all about the music.

Read more below about Harris’ Humanthesizer:

Humanthesizer, a unique human synthesizer. The instrument employs 15 bikini clad models and a new electric body ink developed by students at the Royal College of Art, London.

The new ink, when painted on the skin, allows a current to be passed through the body without causing an electric shock. The instrument consists of 34 pads on the floor which have been painted with the conductive ink and connected to a computer via some clever custom electronics. The performers stand on the pads, and touch each other on the hands or body to complete a circuit and trigger a sound. Calvin played the main keyboard line and effects by interacting with a row of eight girls. The rhythmic portions of the track were played by seven dancers performing a carefully choreographed routine.

The project is the result of collaboration between Calvin Harris, creatives Phil Clandillon and Steve Milbourne at Sony Music, Columbia Records and a group of masters students from the RCA’s Industrial Design Engineering programme.