2010 – The Year in Review…In Advance

It started in September.

I got email after email from publications asking me for my ‘best of the year’ picks and ‘best of the decade’ choices. And then there was an onslaught online, on TV, on the radio, and in print…what’s left of print, that is.

‘Best of the…’ ‘Top Ten’, ‘Top Twenty’, ‘Top Fifty’… the ‘Top of the year’, the ‘Top of the Decade’…ad nauseum.

The year wasn’t even over and we were already rating the songs and films that have been created, comparing apples to oranges. Then it got weirder. Best tweets. Best viral videos. Best broken marriages. Best reality show melt downs. Best political failures. Best new babies born. Best real housewives you’ve never heard of.

If it happened on a grand scale, we can slap a number on it like a pig at the county fair and smugly call ourselves an expert…because that’s what a lot of us journalists, comedians, writers and bloggers are paid to do, right?

But then, suddenly, there were best of lists written by EVERYONE.  I’m glad to know that people all over are enjoying Miike Snow or Radiohead, but when butchers and bakers and candle stick makers are publishing their Best of 2009 lists, it kind of dilutes the magical lists of whatever the fuck Pitchfork or Spin puts out there. If Paste Magazine posts their fifth favorite movie is Amelie and then 20,000 other people tweet the same thing within five minutes, then does precious Paste even make a dent? No wonder magazines are dying.

And then there’s the question that I’ve been aching to ask. Who cares? Your close friends might. If you are a top critic, a few fellow editors might. If you mention something obscure you might earn some “oh yeah, I totally forgot that one!’ points.  If you can write something interesting about your favorites, then you are a gifted writer or comedian and your talents really should be used elsewhere…like on television. Seriously, TV really needs some better writers.

So what’s with all the list making? Must we constantly analyze our past pop culture? Can’t we just box it up and send it into space for other species or our descendants to discover? Can’t we move forward and create the new? The next?

Everyone is entitled to blog, tweet and have an opinion and social media has given everyone a voice. That is the wave of the future. So perhaps it means the death rattle of the ever present Best or Top lists. I mean, hasn’t VH1 beat the living  ‘I Love The’ hell out of it? I was actually assigned a best of list…and then eventually declined to do it. I removed myself from the rabble and decided to once again, look towards the future.

Strangely enough, a few days later, I was contacted out of the blue by Barb Powell, psychic to the stars. Barb doesn’t know me at all, but found my blog and asked if perhaps there wasn’t something we could work on together…like she he had read my mind or something.

Barb Powell is a psychic from Western Canada, who started with a small local client base but is now popular in Los Angeles, and has worked with the cast of shows such as The Ghost Whisperer, Haunting in Connecticut, Brothers and Sisters and The Mentalist…can she predict that Simon Baker and I are meant for each other?

Barb works in a very specific way – she doesn’t need a client to ask a lot of questions, because she gives answers to questions you haven’t even asked. Barb offered to do a mini reading on me and without knowing a thing about me personally, nailed a specific health issue I had been dealing with. Color me impressed.

Before I could ask her questions about the future of music, movies and media,  she already knew what I was looking for. And then some.

Here’s a little bit of what you can expect for 2010:

Good news for people who like their music free…The big labels will continue to get it wrong and eventually cause a big crash!

I think they will get it wrong by pouring money into stopping piracy and legal matters instead of focusing where they should perhaps use subscription type of music channels, etc in order to download.  I think in the next year to two years we will see a crash and they will then HAVE to re-organize.  However I believe that someone will come in and build up independent artists who are good of course but where there is a new way of doing things by subscribing to a site and downloading whatever, whenever they want.  This would be outside the actual music industry or RIAA and how they do things.  In another word..music will be free.

Who will this Indie Robin Hood be? That is unclear. But so far the job is available, so Silverlakers and Williamsburgers apply within!

As far as the Indie film world, Barb sees strides for filmmakers who’s pockets aren’t lined with Avatar type dollars.

We will see an increase with independent films, for sure, what with some of the most popular and cheaper films that have become a success.

Good news for the new legion of Wes Anderson types out there who want to launch their own Bottle Rocket. But they will still have to battle Big Hollywood. However with 2010 studio offerings like Hot Tub Time Machine, it might not be hard for up and comers to win at the box office and beat the majors.

Sigh. Hot Tub Time Machine. Really John Cusack? Next time you’re thinking of doing a movie like this, let me know. I’ll come stand outside your window with a boom box playing a list of reasons of why you will soon be Rob Schneider if you don’t stop this nonsense.

On the topic of music mediocrity, Barb reports:

We will see some upset for the Nickelback lead singer…the band does well but we will see a fall out later part of 2010 due to addictions….but will bounce back in 2011 for an awesome comeback record.

I will wait with baited breath for more from them…people are ready to listen to more pop songs sung by the weird art school girl, whose gender was the biggest mystery of 2009. And her hate spewing internet Svengali will get a reality show – perhaps his crowning glory?

Lots of great things for Lady Gaga career in 2010 including a TV special. Perez Hilton (famed blogger) will have his own reality show although health will become an issue.

Poor Perez. I’m sure many will come to his bedside to wish him well. After GLAAD came down hard on Perez (himself gay) in ’09 for his anti-gay slurs and his trash talk, perhaps he’ll change his ways?

I’m not holding my breath. I wonder what Perez will draw on Miley’s face when it’s reported she is with child?

More news for the Miley Cyrus fans and watchers.  There will be pregnancy rumors once again and they will turn out to be true in 2010.

Another blight on the small screen will be more Sarah Palin. Not sure this is a prediction as much as most of America unable to stop her PR steamroller, but nonetheless it’s apparently about to happen, times eleventy. Just a warning in case you want to cancel your cable subscription in advance.

We will see more of Sarah Palin on TV in late 2010 early 2011…talk show.

Sarah Palin talk show. I just threw up in my mouth. What will her show’s ‘book club’ feature, aside from her own book? Pop ups?

Barb has predicted a lot of celebrity deaths, both expected and scarily unexpected. I’ve chosen not to list them all, but one, I thought I could safely mention without any tears being shed…

This isn’t a Hollywood prediction but interesting just the same…Charles Manson will die.

Maybe this will clear the way for Roman Polanski to return to the US? And perhaps maybe many of the grizzly man indie guitarists of LA will stop emulating his long bearded look and his quest for a harem? It didn’t work out well for Charlie, guys…

Two major highlights Barb has predicted for 2010 in the media, one uplifting, one disconcerting.

Major media involving China/Japan but more so China in regards to war.

War with China is scary…and 24 hour news coverage by cable news outlets is outright terrifying. Hopefully both diplomacy and real journalism will prevail.

Singers/Actors unite for the environment to promote saving the ocean and rain forest.

If we ever needed a new Geldof (Bob, not Peaches.) to step up and create a new World Aid, the time is now.

French/American company The Hours recently started the Tck Tck Tck campagin to save the environment and there are many others.

Now is the time to unite in this cause. I, for one, would be proud to be a part of this.

Barb has made many other predictions about celebrity career triumphs and failures and marriages and divorces. Seems like it’s going to be a chock filled year. She’s even said I’m going to go against type and get cast in a serious acting role:

There will be an ongoing role in a series that reminds me of CSI or Law & Order type of show where it seems you play a detective or bad ass type of woman who gets the bad bad people.

I’m so looking forward to kicking some bad, bad ass!

So what’s your biggest prediction for 2010?

Follow both Barb and me on Twitter at @aliontheair and @mediumBarbP  and tweet us your top 2010 prediction with the hashtags #aliontheair #barbpowell.

My favorite answer will win a free reading with Barb!

Until then, have a great and list free New Year!

Sarah Palin’s Heavy Metal Parking Lot

I really hesitate to open this can of worms because I could rail for HOURS on the sheer stupidity of many of my fellow countrymen who, much like lemmings, will blindly follow a flag waving harpy who has NO ideas and NO real discernible policy, because she is ‘realness’ and for ‘freedom’, ‘conservativeness’, and ‘stuff’.   At first I laughed this woman off, who luckily sank the presidential bid of Mr. McCain. But I realize that this woman is dangerous in that she is charming, ambitious and stupid.

Now, I realize that not all conservatives are stupid. I may not agree with them, but I wouldn’t say they are stupid. However, these people lining up to buy her book? OM MY KRISHNA!!! Did central casting feed these people lines? INCREDIBLE!!!

Here is a rather brilliant piece which rather speaks for itself. Mind you, there is no trickery involved here. Ya can’t blame Katie Couric for any tough questions. This man just asked these people why they liked Sarah Palin, why they’d vote for her, and why they though she’d make a good president. Pretty simple right?

Well, ok, not everyone is super smart. And not everyone understands foreign policy. Or domestic policy. Or policy for the people not from America, too. Not everyone went to a G-dblessed fancy college or can read a newspaper. Heck, they are so expensive, and the media lies, so it’s hard to really know what’s going on with the economy. Or health care. Or the economy. Or Obama’s birth certificate.

It’s times like this when I really cringe at technology and YouTube and the thought of the internet carrying this far and wide across the globe. Sorry, world.

So, it’s really not these people’s fault that they resemble the kids of Heavy Metal Parking Lot as my fellow comic cattle prod, Harmon Leon, has brilliantly pointed out. I personally think it’s a bit insulting to metal fans, who at least have taste, but I digress. Here is a mash-up between the above footage and the Heavy Metal Parking Lot film that Harmon put together.

Spooky, innit?

I’m beginning to think that the country deserves Sarah Palin. At least the country of Ohio does.

Murs and Ali 2: Electric Boogaloo!

We caught up with Murs at the Rock The Bells Press Conference at the Key Club last week, to talk about the label relationship he continues to have- at arms length- as well as well, a bunch of bullshit, frankly. Such as why complaining about the government is no different from complaining about bad service at Taco Bell, and which Summer blockbuster the comic book nerd is most looking forward to (Star Trek!). We may have started a new hip hop beef while we were at it. Well see if Joaquin Phoenix responds.

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Ali on the Air & Antiquiet Backstage: Nico Vega at the Roxy

Nico Vega, LA based and openers for The Von Bondies, hung out in the dressing room and answered some of my questions.

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The End Of An Error

Wow. What a night.

I am having trouble finding the words to describe election day but as a writer, I suppose I must.

I woke up early on the 4th and dragged my tired ass for a walk to my polling place. I was braced for long lines with a paperback and my cell phone, but I was able to breeze right in and dot with indelible ink my vote to end the eight years of soul sucking, gut wrenching madness.

As soon as I had collected my free Starbucks coffee (a ringing endorsement of voting even for the non-politically motivated) my phone started buzzing. Clifton asked whether I had found a nice flat in London and could he join me?…apparently McCain was up in the polls

“It’s too early!” I texted back. “It’s too early!” I screamed to the heavens. “Everyone chill the fuck out!”

But I did start pricing plane tickets to Heathrow.

It was hard for an election junkie such as myself to stay off the computer and away from the TV on a day like this, but I forced myself to do it. I didn’t want the anxiety or stomach ache to worsen due to some mewling pundits. So, luckily when evening fell, I dashed off to meet Jim at the Declare Yourself – Keldof Election party at Zune.

Zune’s circular lobby space made the perfect environment for a gang of anxious hipsters and media professionals. A huge screen projecting the CNN projections was monitored closely while people enjoyed the open bar and some Pinks hot dogs.

I hadn’t eaten all day and Pinks is about as appealing to me as the smell it emits, but I ordered one anyways. My stomach was in complete knots as I attempted to get it down me. The wine went down a lot easier.

Kevin of Keldof ran around, headset on, making sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Rich Kim from Blink Of An I took photos of our nervous but hopeful faces. There were electoral maps to color in with red or blue markers once a candidate was announced a winner, and Ana of La Boum and Pash was spinning on the decks. A top ten of the best political comedy shorts by Funny Or Die was promised following the election results and acceptance speech.

Blue baby, blue!

It felt like the air was slowly being sucked out of the room as each state come back with their tallies. Obama was up, but I didn’t feel safe. If you need to ask why, well, there are some ballot boxes floating somewhere off the Florida Keys that can explain my caution.

Then the countdown until the California polls closed…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…and all of a sudden, the chyron on the screen flipped…OBAMA IS THE PROJECTED WINNER…OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT ELECT.

President Elect Obama

It seemed like it happened so fast. True, it took the DNC to start planning in 2006. This was a long hard road and an excruciating wait…but the last few seconds were a blur. Champagne was popped and people screamed and shouted. Strangers hugged each other and cried.

Obama supporters of all ages

Three little girls danced and threw their hands in the air as Blur’s Song blared over the speakers (nice call, Ana). I stood stone still with my mouth covered in happy shock, as Jim stood beside me saying “we did it.”

Jim and Ali celebrate - Yes We Can!

The party was a bi-partisan party as declareyourself.com is about voting, not one particular candidate. But the crowd was overwhelmingly pro Obama. The look on the faces of the people there was incredible. It’s a happiness and joy I haven’t seen on the faces of Americans since pre 9/11…

Electoral joy

Not only did the entire country celebrate in the streets, but CNN showed people celebrating all over the world. Our new president elect has the potential be a world leader, a great man, a respected man…haven’t been able to say that for eight years…

Kevin from Keldof threw a great party

Calls and texts started coming in on my phone. I had a few messages from some Londoners congratulating me and hoping I was partying the night away. I told them that “we” as a collective, had done something right for once in 8 years. Perhaps now we could hold our head up high again and be proud to be Americans. Perhaps now when we are over seas, other countries won’t point to a newspaper headline, look at is and say “what the fuck”?

Yes we did

It is the end of an error. Celebrations and congratulations are in order…but next week we must roll our sleeves up and help our president elect put this country back together

The future is here. Let’s rock.