Street Drum Corps Walks The Walk at the US Open Of Surfing

Often when making their way from humble beginnings to the arena setting, a band will play some odd gigs. State fairs, weddings, bar mitzvahs, cemetery hipster shows and if they chance upon it, the corporate gig. Some may balk at it and call it selling out, but a band that plans on not living on some girl’s couch  a band planning on owning their own equipment – and publishing, knows that getting paid to play instead of the other way around, is the business of show.

So this is why I found myself heading down to ‘the HB, yo’ to see the lads in Street Drum Corps, where they were performing a set at the US Open Of Surfing. Having played the Bamboozle tour, The Alt Brothers and Frank Zummo are no strangers to drumming in the hot sun, but this was right on the beach, right on the water, in close proximity to surf, sand and sunscreen. How would all the leather and studs and war paints hold up in these conditions?

Huntington Beach is only an hour away, but we may as well have needed a passport. Every cliche for SoCal life was immediately present. Barefoot girls in trucker hats? Tattoos of Tilly’s on their ass? Check. Dudes in Ed Hardy? Check. Guy with no shirt wearing a python as a scarf? Check! Los Angeles is supposedly the Babylon that the religious right is so worried about, but if you take a peek behind the Orange curtain, I think there’s a lot more to be sweating right in their own back yard.

As we approached the incredible maze like phalanx set up for the Open, throngs of half naked co-eds with day glo body paint milled about walking from booth to booth looking at displays set up by Nike, G Shock, Skull Candy, Converse and other sponsors. Each PA system at each booth bumped their sound louder, raffling off prizes and announced stupid human trick contests until it was a muddy mix of loud noise where one could only make out a few “yo, dawg” s and “aiiight bra!”s mixed in.

Before heading to the stage to catch the boys play, we decided to take in a bit of surfing competition. I walked down to the beach and looked towards the pier, scanning the horizon. Nope, no surfing going on as far as the eye could see. Strange that. Perhaps a bit later. What was still going on, was a LOT of shilling by Hurley, and other companies with their latest products with the latest technologies to stay drier, be louder, go faster, get drunker. Mixed with booze and free bands, the corporations had the kids as a captive audience. You really have to hand it to them. Genius.

Next to the BMX pit, a stage surrounded by trucker hat wearing teens and twenty somethings, Street Drum Corps took the stage with a rousing rendition of their single ‘Knock Me Out’.

Bobby Alt, sporting a new Billy Idol look, got the crowd singing along, though I’m pretty sure not many of them knew the song, which is definitely a coup.

Bobby Alt knocks the crowd out

What followed next is one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen…Hurley’s ‘Walk The Walk’ is a high school fashion design competition described as  as “Friday Night Football” meets “The Runway”.  After three months of online video challenges, six high schools from across the nation  compete with a runway show with their own Hurley collection in front of Hurley executives and ‘celebrity’ judges like actors from 90210, Lauren Conrad (from The Hills) and Camila Alves (Mrs. McConaughey).    .

What it was really like was a cheerleading/drill team competition from Bring It On, meets MTV’s Pimp My Ride, meets Glee on Crystal Meth. Don’t get me wrong, the designs these kids came up with were great. Some of the routines and dance ideas would make Broadway choreographer throw in the towel. But the onslaught of sparkle and spandex and commerce was very Californication.

And of course it was set up as a competition, for a $25,000 prize that Hurley was donating to the school. Which is awesome of Hurley. Because Hurley is giving a lot of money to help kids who have promising design careers ahead of them. However if you think about the money Hurley is saving…

Companies spend millions of dollars on market research on the teen market. They do a lot of research on what young people want to buy. Especially what young people want to wear. Wouldn’t it be genius to hold a competition around the country and get that market to show you, nay MAKE you exactly what they want to wear? Call it a contest. Throw them .001% of what you would have spent to figure it out. You are local heroes in the community…everybody wins. Surfs up, dude.

Sorry, the cynic is back to the previous blog in progress…

The high schools competing built routines with movable ramps and hoops and ribbons, basket tosses and stunts.

winning high school Corona Del Mar

Some had multi cultural messages, others stuck with the theme, Born In the USA. But the level of professionalism, both in the clothing and in the performance was tops.

Even the hostess, Anna Lynn McCord of 90210 seemed embarrassed to follow some of these teens with her lame stilted patter.

Anna Lynn McCord host unextraordinaire

As the judges conferred on who would take the prize, another band took the stage, Cobra Starship. I know of the band, because I know they were formed after one song written for a movie was a hit. ‘Snakes On A Plane’. You see where I’m going with this? As they launched into their first song, the only thing I could verbally mouth was “How did this happen?” Seriously. With all the talented bands working their asses off all over this great nation, How. Did. This. Happen? I can be patient and graceful, but I’ve found that my patience wears thin when record companies insult me. It reminds me of that Quincy Jones quote: “When you chase music for money, God walks out of the room.” Well some of this music really points towards atheism.

We quickly made our exit, the Street Drum Corps lads drums long silenced, their corporate job done. As we scanned the beaches and the horizons again, not one single surfer was out on the water. Perhaps the surfers who had been paid to surf were done and they had all gone home too.

the only surf board near the water

At least Street Drum Corps really shined and got paid to do what they do well.

That’s one small triumph for the creative spirit, in the face of the corporate Goliath.

Billabong’s ‘Design For Humanity’ Proves Hollywood Hipsters Have None

Thursday night, Billabong and Paramount Studios hosted the 4^th annual Design For Humanity event to raise money and awareness for Invisible Children, a non-profit that helps children and families affected by the war in Uganda.

Invisible Children exhibit

I’ve been a supporter of Invisible Children for sometime now, as when I helped begin The Voice Project, Invisible Children was a model for what we wanted to achieve. The atrocities going on there are unbelievable. Joseph Kony is currently terrorizing five countries and it’s the longest running conflict on the continent of Africa, yet no one seems to know about it.

I admit I was a bit dubious about a bikini fashion show and block party helping the cause, but with popular artists such as Fischerspooner and Kid Sister on the bill, I was hoping for a fervent crowd of people ready to pitch in and make a difference.

The New York Streets of Paramount were decked out with food trucks, step and pose red carpets, the Hit + Run t shirt silk screening stations, Carmichael art gallery auctions, live art stations and, of course a Lakers/Celtics screen so the Lakers fans could watch their team go down in flames.

Different sections had popular DJs like Classixx and Pase Rock spinning for the upwardly mobile hipster crowd who swilled drinks and noshed for the charity while they waited for the fashion show and upcoming musical performances.

live painting at Design For Humanity event

As we sat awaiting the beginning of the fashion show, a film reel began, showing the Invisible Children efforts in Uganda…only to be drowned out by a DJ playing ‘Bust A Move’ by Young MC. Now, I’m a fan of busting a move and early nineties novelty songs. Who isn’t? But shouldn’t there be an ounce of gravitas given the nature of the film being shown? No? OK, moving on.

As a whole, the event was mildly entertaining. Billabong designed for humanity, if humanity is going to start dressing like the jail bait waifs on the new 90210.

a design for humanity

Kid Sister was a little like watching your kid sister put on a show. Then, Casey Spooner led his Tharpy twitchy dancers in a revamped version of his show, Between Worlds, sans the musical albatross around his neck, “Emerge”.

Casey Spooner & Company

After, my friend and I headed to the Invisible Children exhibit set up in a store-front across from the Carmichael gallery. There patrons could see the film reel, unfettered by MCs, rappers or movers, busting. There were also photographs of the children forced to fight in the war all around the room as well as the weapons they were forced to use, on display.

children with guns

It was a sobering moment and one that makes you count your blessings.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a gaggle of girls in skin tight party dresses holding the guns, gangsta style, taking sexy pictures with their Iphones. One after the other, they posed with these weapons between their legs, licking the guns, humping them. I was immediately nauseated.

Then a few other hipsters picked up the hand grenades in the exhibit and mimed lobbing them at each other in a photo op frenzy. This went on for over twenty minutes. Dozens and dozens of different disaffected creeps played paparazzi with the weapons with the giant pictures of child soldiers looming over their heads. After fighting the urge to vomit on their American Apparel onesies, I asked a few of them why they were taking these pictures.

“Well, like, everyone else was doing it, and we thought it was fun.” Said one girl who clearly knew her spirit animal was a soulless cockroach.

I understand the need to entertain people for the money they plunk down for a ticket to a charity event, for it to be ‘fun’…but feet away there is a movie showing a genocide. So maybe a PARTY isn’t the way to raise money and awareness anymore. Maybe bikinis, Young MC, and cosmo martinis isn’t the way to get the message across that shit is rough in other parts of the world. Hell, shit is rough RIGHT HERE.

The problem is, these people think nothing about plunking down $30-$150 bucks to hang out with Kid Sister on the Paramount lot and ogle girls in bikinis. They didn’t really have to do anything proactive. Hell, they can even buy the tickets from their freaking iphone. That is, if they’re not already on the guest list.

What they don’t have to do is change. Anything. Their behavior, the laws, American foreign policy, Uganda, war, or they way humans treat each other. Which was evident by the pushing at the line for the bar.

Kid Sister and hipsters

I’ve been to a lot of Hollywood charity events. I’ve even participated in some. Some raise good money and are helpful. But most of them are a bigger PR push for the DJs and club promoters/energy drink sponsors that throw them. I guarantee if you polled the guests leaving some of these events that less than half could tell you the cause they were drinking for.

So maybe instead of throwing events for charity, how about we take the money and give it DIRECTLY to the charity. Or INVEST it in helping the people who need it.

I hope this event raised a lot of money. It seemingly failed, to raise ANY awareness or consciousness. In fact, I think that it proved the average Hollywood hipster’s devolution and frankly I’m disgusted.

If you would like to learn more about, donate to or get involved with Invisible Children, please visit INVISIBLE CHILDREN