Grammys: Meet the New Prom King, Same As The Old Prom King

It’s prom weekend in Hollywood and the parties and secret shows leading up to the Grammys have already begun. Why anyone would leave their house for a secret Black Eyed Peas show after their disaster at the Super Bowl last week, is beyond me, but someone is still buying their albums. If you can give me a VALID reason why, by all means, email me.

My picks for the best of the weekend are the not-so-secret Arcade Fire show at the El Rey which hearty fans have been sleeping overnight on cold concrete to get tickets for…

and the intimate Crystal Method show at downtown LA’s Exchange.

I’ve been a fan of Crystal Method for a long time – so much so that I put Ken in my short film,  DJ Intervention. They’re one of the best electronic acts in America and this is a small place to catch them so if you’re lucky enough to be in LA, do it.

As for the other parties and shows, yes I’m jaded, but they all seem to turn into the same thing after a while. People standing in suits or bad studded t-shirts knocking back drinks staring at each other. For me the entertainment of the night makes the party and I’m not feeling it if the act of the night is someone like Katy Perry.

Speaking of, Let’s all take a deep breath and just look at what the Grammys has become. What is really being rewarded? Can the nominees actually play instruments anymore? The cast of Glee is nominated alongside actual bands who write music, when the kids from Glee are basically a cover band. I’d love for the buoyant Cee-Lo to win on Sunday, but is anyone allowed to dethrone Jay-Z?

It’s like High School and the Prom King has already been chosen.

Sure, every year an Arcade Fire or Sara Bareilles slips in and we rejoice. Mumford And Sons gets to offset a question mark inducing performance by Usher and we heave a sigh of relief, but nothing really changes. We go back to coveting our precious playlists on our ipods and shaking our heads in wonderment at the billboard top ten list. Who is voting them in? Ke$ha? Who is downloading Ke$ha? Can’t we, as a society, say no to Ke$ha? If we are to become a better nation, we must start from the ground level, and say no to Ke$ha…

We all have our battles to pick. I am asking you. Just pick one. Maybe it’s Katy Perry. Maybe it’s Ke$ha. Perhaps you will refuse to help BEP get the party started. Maybe you will not participate in Bieber fever. I’m just asking you to IGNORE one of the mediocre auto-tuned fast food artists and instead check out a new artist. Do some digging. Go to your local record store and ask what they recommend. There’s a LOT of music out there and it can be overwhelming. But listening to what is thrown at you in Target and Pepsi commercials because it’s easy, isn’t the best option. There’s better things to listen to.

Happy Grammys! Hope your date puts out for you.

Side note: As of late my posting has lessened due to some other projects I have coming up. You can always find me on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alimaclean and now on http://www.witstream.com

I will have more exciting news soon!

Serato Is Not A Pasta – DJ Intervention Starts Now

I’ve written many times before about the difference between a legit DJ and the hobbyists who like the idea of having their playlist heard on a Friday night for a little cash in their pocket.

If it’s true that ‘Anyone Can Play Guitar’ then it’s even more true that anyone can DJ, especially when you can download Serato for free…but forget beat matching. That rarely even enters into the equation anymore. In today’s club scene a dilettante can get paid four or five thousand dollars and show up with their i pod just because they fucked someone famous and the promoter thinks thats cool and bitchin and shit.

OK, the novelty of seeing the cast of Gossip Girl fumble around with a mixer might be an initial draw but then what? I’ll tell you what. If it’s a nightclub with a dance floor, the real DJ has to come in and save their ass and make sure there’s actual music playing.

Now, not all venues have to have banging house tunes. Many bars and clubs these days want a lo fi, bring-your-own-stuff-to-spin atmosphere, and that’s cool. But the difference is: no one is being paid obnoxious amounts of money for something they downloaded off itunes a few hours before.

I’ve been hired to spin at certain clubs around Los Angeles, mainly because I know music. I’ve been asked to spin records (yes, I use vinyl) in between bands performing at venues…and even though I have been on air at a few different radio stations, I don’t really consider myself a working DJ. On air personality? Yes. A DJ? Not really.

Do I love to search for records? Sure. I like to go to Counterpoint and flea markets. I’ll drag boyfriends and family members to vintage shops and dusty record bins while on vacation until they beg me to stop. However, I don’t make special crate digging trips to Japan or Israel or Brazil like Pete Rock or Cut Chemist do, for the SOLE PURPOSE of collecting rare records. That is LOVE of the craft. That is why those guys should be hired to do the job.

Pete Rock crate digging for vinyl gold

And then some dick promoter is going to pay Peaches Geldof a shit ton of money to “DJ” their party?

When I see the amount of hard work someone like DJ Z Trip or Rhettmatic has put into their careers, only to see some trust fund kid with a chip on his shoulder and a personal paparazzo by his side, breeze by and get flown all over the world for 5 and 6 figure gigs…when I’ve seen that same trust fund fucker literally plug his i pod in at a venue and then walk away from the DJ booth to pose for pictures and pound drinks…it infuriates me for the hard working DJs out there.

Z Trip's first love

I’m not saying that not every celebrity sucks at DJing. Carlos D from Interpol has been DJing for years and only uses vinyl. It seems to me he has a real love for it and puts a lot of time and energy into it. Therein lies the difference. Are you in it because you love it? Or are you doing it for the photo op? Cause most of us can tell, you know.

Club owners: Stop paying good money for shitty product. You want the cast of Twilight to DJ your party? Fine. Don’t pay them. They’re not DJs. Give them a bottle of Grey Goose and set them up in a booth in the corner. You can take a photo of them standing near the DJ booth for the starfucker page on your website and leave the DJing to someone with chops.

Festival bookers: Really? Six figures for a DJ who’s crap?  We’re not that high. Stop it.

Last fall, after another night where Z Trip had to follow another “DJ” train wreck, he took to twitter and ranted which I have to admit, I egged on and on. Our tweets ultimately gave me the idea for this film…this is part one of an ongoing series of DJ INTERVENTION.

If you like it, pass it on to all of your friends who may need some help. We know you’re out there and we want you to get the help you deserve…

Or you can vote for it here on Funny Or Die:

DJ Intervention, Part 1 – watch more funny videos

Part Two to come soon!!