I Love Black People

I am not a racist. I have black people in my family. My aunt is married to a black man and he was invited to my sister’s wedding. Yes, I know that I am not my sister, but I would totally invite him to my wedding.

A lot of times black people just assume that I am racist. One reason is the way I look. I am pale white with blue eyes and flaxen blonde hair. I’m a Nellie Olsen looking motherfucker. If it were Prairie times, I have slave-owner written all over me. The second reason is I’m from Boston, apparently the racist capital of America. Forget the Bible belt, if you mention you’re from Boston and have a last name starting with a Celtic prefix, you might as well be wearing a hood. I try to tell people I come from the Kennedy part of Boston, not the Marky Mark part of Boston, but that just seems to make things worse.

I have black friends. I have a black director and black co-stars. I have even dined with the esteemed Baratunde Thurston, author of How To Be Black. We sat at the W Hotel’s Spike Lee table! I realize I’m name-dropping black people names and maybe that’s just desperate ways to get you to think that I’m not racist. Here are some more: My favorite indie actor is Don Cheadle. My favorite baseball player is David ‘Big Papi ‘ Ortiz. My favorite basketball player is Paul Pierce. My favorite football player was Asante Samuel until he defected to the Eagles. My favorite teacher could have been black if my University had hired any. That one’s not on me.

I don’t know how much more I can make it clear to you that I’m not racist. I like black people as much as I could like ANY human being. I mean I’m not much of a people person in general. As far as people go, some of the black ones I’ve met have been pretty great. I feel like maybe all this groveling is maybe sounding a bit racist but whatever I can do to convince you. You see, the other night I flinched.

I was booked on a performance with four other amazing performers at Comedy Central. Another performer that night was a wonderful and hilarious gentleman, an African American who did a piece on how white women are crazy, especially the ones he dated, and sometimes a little racist.

I, personally, had a bitchy tidal wave of a week filled with a disappointing dickbag, a hit-and-run car smash up, and pet cancer. I had to pull deep inside my good ole Scot stoicism that solders a steely shield and holds in the tears that come out every 200 years, like Brigadoon. That rock hard badassery got me through the show and helped me kick some ass.

In the swirl of the after party, I finally had a second to reflect on my horrible week and I got lost in my head for a moment. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I hunched my shoulders a bit. I turned around and saw it was the black guy from my show. Oh no! Not the black guy. Anybody but the black guy! He’s gonna think I’m racist and that I flinched because he is black. Sure enough…

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to touch you…”

I could have told him I didn’t know that it was him. Or that he had startled me. Or that my week had been like a piñata stuffed with human waste that had burst everywhere. I could have told him that.

But instead I made it worse:

“I have a bad shoulder.”

“You have a bad shoulder? Oh, it’s like THAT. That’s a new one. I’ve got to write that one down.”

“No really! I fell hiking!”

The fact was I did have a bad shoulder. I am a clumsy fool. But I’m no racist.

I asked him if I could give him a hug. He begrudgingly agreed. I took a running start and gave him a massive bear hug. It lasted so long that most people around us began to get uncomfortable. I think I would have given him a blowjob if it would sort out race relations. Hell, I think I would have given white guilt head to anyone in Affirmative Action at that moment just to smooth things out. For someone who doesn’t like most people, I sure do want everyone to get along.

You know what this means. I’m definitely going to have to vote for Obama again. That should prove to you that I’m not racist. I do love having a black president. I just really wish he wasn’t a Muslim.

Guitar Center Fell In Love With A Drummer

The Guitar Center’s 2009 Championship Drum Off’s moved this year to the Wiltern and that wasn’t the only moving on up they did. The contest with the $25,000 cash prize also featured a Tommy Lee headlined Bezerk spectacle, including performances by Max Weinberg (from both Bruce Springsteen and Conan O’Brien fame) playing in tandem with his son Jay, Chad Smith (RHCP), Matt Sorum (Guns & Roses), Sully Erna (Godsmack), Frank Zummo (Street Drum Corps) and more.

The top five contestants vied for the grand prize by performing a five minute set, judged by a panel of highly accomplished drum celebrities including Peter Erskine (Steely Dan), Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters), Drew Hester (Foo Fighters / Joe Walsh), Thomas Lang, Jason Sutter (Chris Cornell), Kenny Aronoff (John Mellencamp / Sessions Legend), John Tempesta (The Cult), Tony Royster Jr. (Jay-Z), Nisan Stewart (Jamie Foxx / 50 Cent) and Ray Luzier (Korn).

While the votes were tallied, the evening veered from touching:

Guitar Center  inducted drum icons Billy Cobham and John Bonham into Guitar Center’s Drum Legends  and then Jason Bonham drummed in time to footage of his dad, the legendary John Bonham of Led Zeppelin.

To the downright bizarre:

Tommy Lee chased around a midget who jumped out of a trash can while Sully Erna rappelled down the scaffolding keeping a beat…

It truly was the Ringling Bros of drummers, and the ringmaster, Stephen Perkins, kept pulling more and more acts out onstage.

I managed to wrangle some one on one time with Jason Bonham before his amazing performance, as well as Drum Off judge Kenny Aronoff, who had just finished playing the Kennedy Center Honors the week before, in tribute to Bruce Springsteen.

Both Jason and Kenny eschewed the dreaded drum solo, which was amusing considering the set up of the entire event. They both also stressed the importance of being in a band and of working together with other musicians. Hear that music people? Can’t we all just get along?

I also sat down with this year’s winner, Ramon Sampson.

19 year old South Africa native and Tennesse citizen, Sampson competed last year but came back again this year and grabbed the grand prize package worth more than $40,000.

Ramon, who started drumming at the age of one (total slacker, right?), says he’s first going to  buy himself some wheels, probably in his favorite color, lime green. Then he’s going to roll down the windows and play some Michael Jackson in tribute to one of his favorite artists.

You can check out my renegade video here:

Ramon’s winning performance can be viewed here. He’s pretty amazing:

Sarah Palin’s Heavy Metal Parking Lot

I really hesitate to open this can of worms because I could rail for HOURS on the sheer stupidity of many of my fellow countrymen who, much like lemmings, will blindly follow a flag waving harpy who has NO ideas and NO real discernible policy, because she is ‘realness’ and for ‘freedom’, ‘conservativeness’, and ‘stuff’.   At first I laughed this woman off, who luckily sank the presidential bid of Mr. McCain. But I realize that this woman is dangerous in that she is charming, ambitious and stupid.

Now, I realize that not all conservatives are stupid. I may not agree with them, but I wouldn’t say they are stupid. However, these people lining up to buy her book? OM MY KRISHNA!!! Did central casting feed these people lines? INCREDIBLE!!!

Here is a rather brilliant piece which rather speaks for itself. Mind you, there is no trickery involved here. Ya can’t blame Katie Couric for any tough questions. This man just asked these people why they liked Sarah Palin, why they’d vote for her, and why they though she’d make a good president. Pretty simple right?

Well, ok, not everyone is super smart. And not everyone understands foreign policy. Or domestic policy. Or policy for the people not from America, too. Not everyone went to a G-dblessed fancy college or can read a newspaper. Heck, they are so expensive, and the media lies, so it’s hard to really know what’s going on with the economy. Or health care. Or the economy. Or Obama’s birth certificate.

It’s times like this when I really cringe at technology and YouTube and the thought of the internet carrying this far and wide across the globe. Sorry, world.

So, it’s really not these people’s fault that they resemble the kids of Heavy Metal Parking Lot as my fellow comic cattle prod, Harmon Leon, has brilliantly pointed out. I personally think it’s a bit insulting to metal fans, who at least have taste, but I digress. Here is a mash-up between the above footage and the Heavy Metal Parking Lot film that Harmon put together.

Spooky, innit?

I’m beginning to think that the country deserves Sarah Palin. At least the country of Ohio does.

Back To The Future With The Juan MacLean & The Ali MacLean

When I heard that The Juan MacLean was in town, I knew I had to talk to him, not only to chat about his new album The Future Will Come, being part of the uber cool electro mafia: DFA Records,  but also to finally figure out how the hell we are related. Two MacLeans from Boston in the music scene? There’s just no way this man doesn’t share a branch from my tree. I headed over to the Avalon during Juan’s sound check to get a glimpse bef0re the big performance at Control later that night, and have some pre-show tea.

ALI ON THE AIR: Hey, we need to figure out our family tree. You’re from Boston…originally Gloucester right? My Dad’s from Gloucester. What if we had the same dad, like on Springer or something where the man has two families.

JUAN: I know. Well,  my Uncle lived in Gloucester. I actually live in Dover, NH, about an hour from Boston. But I tell people I’m from New York. When you’re doing an interview in Berlin you just don’t get into explaining New Hampshire. I say New York.

AOTA: But you don’t say Boston, I notice. Hmmm.

JUAN: I’ve always felt unrelated to the music scene in Boston. I lived in Providence for a while and I liked the music scene there much better. I like the Middle East in Boston. I mean, with all the colleges, you’d figure it’d be huge but it’s not that great. But I find that I’m mostly commuting back and forth to New York. I have a couch in the DFA offices.

AOTA: Do you prefer the road or working on the studio?

JUAN: For some reason every time I go home it’s so demoralizing. There’s not this thing every night where you are the center of attention. I have a lot of work at home in general with remixes and stuff so I’m really busy. The thing that is a hassle about it is that I’m always alone when I’m DJing. It gets old after a while. I went to Europe in the winter for three weeks and for two and a half wasn’t anywhere where people knew English. It wears on you after a while.

AOTA: You have a lot of stories on your site about airport security and how they love to stop you and check out your…package. You seem to get searched a lot more than the average guy. Was Miami for real?

JUAN:  The Miami one was a 100% true story.  I thought they were joking. But the guy said that it’s such a cocaine trafficking place that people will tape drugs in their groin. The way they went about it and what they said was so insane. The woman kept pointing at my crotch and saying “There’s too much”.

AOTA: At least she thought there was too much. It could be worse, for instance if she thought the opposite.

JUAN: Yeah. But it’s like, ‘Thanks, I think’. They got the guy who is lowest on the totem pole to check me, and he kept saying on our walk to the room ‘Why didn’t they get the gay dude to do this!’ Hey, we’re not going on a date! Man! The problem is, I’m going through security with all of my records…

AOTA: With a sticker on them that says ‘Death From Above’.

JUAN: We quickly switched the stickers after 9/11…but they always check my record bag without fail and they swab my case for cocaine and it always comes up positive. I don’t even do coke. For someone who doesn’t do it, it’s all over my stuff. I pick it up on turntables and stuff in the clubs.

AOTA: Do you use vinyl or Serato mostly?

JUAN: I only use vinyl. I hate Serato. I just like vinyl in general – the tactile nature of it. I don’t understand looking at a list of MP3s and picking out a song that way. But leafing through records…there’s an emotional response in seeing them. People can mix flawlessly with Serato in a way that you just can’t do with vinyl. I feel like it’s made this artificial standard of mixing. I carry it around in my laptop in case my records go missing, but I don’t use it.

AOTA: There seems to be a glut of DJs out there these days. You’ve been doing it for a long, long time…

JUAN:  I get paid to DJ more than I get for the band playing live music which is really frustrating. There is this trend of people going on blogs and downloading a bunch of crappy mp3s and instantly you’re a DJ? What once was DJ etiquette or DJ culture or the craft of DJing has been lost. Showing up and being a headlining DJ and the person before you playing a hundred times harder than you’ll ever play and even playing your own records – people playing MY records right before I go on to DJ? You just totally blew me out of the water, man. Instead of kids buying guitars nowadays, they get the stuff you need to ‘be a DJ’. You can buy it pretty easily and it doesn’t really require any skill anymore.

AOTA: And now there’s DJ Hero coming out.

JUAN: Oh great. It’s a double edged sword because DJ culture is so much bigger than it was ten years ago, so it means that I DJ constantly.

AOTA: Do you prefer playing as opposed to DJing?

JUAN: Right now I’m so into playing with the band. Its all I want to do. But I do get the same gratification from DJing. If it’s done properly…A lot of people have a play list and they’re gonna play the same set mo matter what’s happening. But it should be like playing off the crowd. When that’s happening, and it’s going well, I like it as much as playing  with the band.

AOTA: You’ve said that people with a rock background make more interesting music than people whose only come from is electronic music.

JUAN: People who just come from electronic background tend to be genre specific and I think make uninteresting records. People who have made my favorite music tend to come from a live music background. Like Bookashade.

AOTA: A lot of artists are afraid to admit to influences/ They’d have you believe they just hatched from nothing and became an entity. You’re willing to say on this album you listened to Human League or Grace Jones.

JUAN: It’s almost become a game. People like to go through and pick out where we “stole” things from and somehow it’s become a source of derision on message boards. There’s a type of guy – and it’s always a guy – who speaks endlessly about how ‘oh he stole the piano part from this song’. Well, that’s what people have been doing since the beginning of pop music. Not only that, but we’re talking about electronic, sample based music here. So it seems odd to me that people would get so bent out of shape about it. I don’t think anyone cares except a few of these guys that spend way too much time on the internet.

AOTA: There’s always some blogger with something nasty to say. You’ve actually had the balls to respond to some of them.  Your blog is actually quite entertaining.

JUAN: At one point I thought it was overtaking the music. We’d be on tour and people would come up and say ‘Oh I love the album…but the BLOG. It’s HILARIOUS!’ When I’d post on Myspace I couldn’t believe how many people would subscribe. It’s insane. I was approached by a couple publishing people about doing a book. I was a writing teacher for a while so that’s something I’ve wanted to do.

AOTA: So, if there was no more electricity, that could be your creative outlet?

JUAN: That would definitely be my next choice. It might be what I segue into next. Or when I get too old to do this.

AOTA: Oh, come on. You wont be like Alan McGee or BP Fallon? DJing into your twilight years?

JUAN: That’s the thing I like about dance music in general. Unlike when I played in an angry rock band…when I turned thirty, I was like “I don’t want to do this anymore.” With dance music you can keep going. There’s a tradition of people that are older who are revered.

AOTA: Right, like Suicide or Silver Apples. Now, do you think you need to be angry or depressed or in pain to be creative?

JUAN: Oh god. I’ve thought about that. I’ve actually read a book about it by this guy Peter Kramer who’s from Providence. It’s called Against Depression. I’ve been prone to depression my entire life and its common with…

AOTA: MacLeans?

JUAN:Ha, my family, yeah, and with creative people. People often say if you could get rid of depression then what about artists like Van Gogh? What would happen to their art? Well, maybe they would have done better things and have been even more productive. And that’s how I see it. People who have truly been depressed don’t glorify it. For me, when I’m in that mode, I can’t do anything, so it’s not useful or productive. Things that sound depressing in my music are probably more from choices I made where things haven’t gone very well.

AOTA: This album is less angry or depressive. You and Nancy are doing duets. There’s a relationship going on. It’s less about a robot and more human. Maybe more…Wall-E?

JUAN: It’s a definite narrative that we tried to end on a happy note like with Happy House. We tried to end each side of the record with something uplifting.

AOTA: Is it influenced by more uplifting times? Or a promise of some? Yes We Can?

JUAN: For Nancy and I, when writing about our personal lives, we don’t write on the macro level. Obama isn’t explaining stuff to the girlfriend that things are going to get better after the tour. Nancy played in LCD Soundsystem so a lot of this is what being in a touring band can do to a relationship.

AOTA: So then after you get off the road, you remix a lot so you can stay in one place for a while?

JUAN: No one really buys an album now. There’s a lot of income that you lose out of from not selling cds and stuff that gets generated from that so you have to tour. People download music for free, but they will pay to come to shows. So I can play much bigger shows.

AOTA: You have a stage persona which is sort of like your blog persona.

JUAN: Being involved in the 90′s indie rock scene, which was the grunge scene – the rock star as a regular guy. Kinda like Kurt Cobain who was like ‘This is just the way I am. There’s no pretense to it at all.’ I’ve always been more into people who were like “No, I’m an entertainer/Rock Star!” who had a persona. All of the blog writing, well at least fifty percent of it is truth and a lot of it is embellishing. I’m more concerned with entertaining than I am with using my music as my diary.

AOTA: Have you gone as far as the Marc Bolan route where you’ve worn your own face on a t shirt?

JUAN: Well, there are Juan MacLean shirts with my face on them that’s I’ve worn around. Embarrassing. I do it more to be a douche bag than anything else.

AOTA: Before I leave you to change into your own face t shirt…have there been any patchouli pranks or shenanigans this tour?

JUAN: There’s this terrible cologne called Drakkar Noir. We’d all joke about it and then I actually bought some. I kept spraying it on DJ’s keyboards and he was like ‘Man! Someone’s wearing some strong cologne! The monitor guy or someone. Whew!’ It kept happening and finally one night he figured it out. Drakkar Noir. It’s like a fancier step up from Old Spice.

AOTA: I think one of my grandfathers wore Old Spice. Keeping it in the family…

Ali on the Air & Antiquiet Backstage: Nico Vega at the Roxy

Nico Vega, LA based and openers for The Von Bondies, hung out in the dressing room and answered some of my questions.

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The End Of An Error

Wow. What a night.

I am having trouble finding the words to describe election day but as a writer, I suppose I must.

I woke up early on the 4th and dragged my tired ass for a walk to my polling place. I was braced for long lines with a paperback and my cell phone, but I was able to breeze right in and dot with indelible ink my vote to end the eight years of soul sucking, gut wrenching madness.

As soon as I had collected my free Starbucks coffee (a ringing endorsement of voting even for the non-politically motivated) my phone started buzzing. Clifton asked whether I had found a nice flat in London and could he join me?…apparently McCain was up in the polls

“It’s too early!” I texted back. “It’s too early!” I screamed to the heavens. “Everyone chill the fuck out!”

But I did start pricing plane tickets to Heathrow.

It was hard for an election junkie such as myself to stay off the computer and away from the TV on a day like this, but I forced myself to do it. I didn’t want the anxiety or stomach ache to worsen due to some mewling pundits. So, luckily when evening fell, I dashed off to meet Jim at the Declare Yourself – Keldof Election party at Zune.

Zune’s circular lobby space made the perfect environment for a gang of anxious hipsters and media professionals. A huge screen projecting the CNN projections was monitored closely while people enjoyed the open bar and some Pinks hot dogs.

I hadn’t eaten all day and Pinks is about as appealing to me as the smell it emits, but I ordered one anyways. My stomach was in complete knots as I attempted to get it down me. The wine went down a lot easier.

Kevin of Keldof ran around, headset on, making sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Rich Kim from Blink Of An I took photos of our nervous but hopeful faces. There were electoral maps to color in with red or blue markers once a candidate was announced a winner, and Ana of La Boum and Pash was spinning on the decks. A top ten of the best political comedy shorts by Funny Or Die was promised following the election results and acceptance speech.

Blue baby, blue!

It felt like the air was slowly being sucked out of the room as each state come back with their tallies. Obama was up, but I didn’t feel safe. If you need to ask why, well, there are some ballot boxes floating somewhere off the Florida Keys that can explain my caution.

Then the countdown until the California polls closed…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…and all of a sudden, the chyron on the screen flipped…OBAMA IS THE PROJECTED WINNER…OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT ELECT.

President Elect Obama

It seemed like it happened so fast. True, it took the DNC to start planning in 2006. This was a long hard road and an excruciating wait…but the last few seconds were a blur. Champagne was popped and people screamed and shouted. Strangers hugged each other and cried.

Obama supporters of all ages

Three little girls danced and threw their hands in the air as Blur’s Song blared over the speakers (nice call, Ana). I stood stone still with my mouth covered in happy shock, as Jim stood beside me saying “we did it.”

Jim and Ali celebrate - Yes We Can!

The party was a bi-partisan party as declareyourself.com is about voting, not one particular candidate. But the crowd was overwhelmingly pro Obama. The look on the faces of the people there was incredible. It’s a happiness and joy I haven’t seen on the faces of Americans since pre 9/11…

Electoral joy

Not only did the entire country celebrate in the streets, but CNN showed people celebrating all over the world. Our new president elect has the potential be a world leader, a great man, a respected man…haven’t been able to say that for eight years…

Kevin from Keldof threw a great party

Calls and texts started coming in on my phone. I had a few messages from some Londoners congratulating me and hoping I was partying the night away. I told them that “we” as a collective, had done something right for once in 8 years. Perhaps now we could hold our head up high again and be proud to be Americans. Perhaps now when we are over seas, other countries won’t point to a newspaper headline, look at is and say “what the fuck”?

Yes we did

It is the end of an error. Celebrations and congratulations are in order…but next week we must roll our sleeves up and help our president elect put this country back together

The future is here. Let’s rock.

Mr Lif embeds himself in the campaign/election trail

8 years of W. An insane look at what happens when a complacent, paranoid and indifferent country gets caught sleeping.

Sounds like a horror book by Orwell, does it not?

Now hip hop artist Mr Lif will write the epilogue – and hopefully the first chapter in a new story. Hopefully a story about a country’s redemption. Hopefully. Sweet Jesus, it better be…

MR LIF UNVEILS PLANS TO RELEASE NEW MUSIC IN AN UNPRECEDENTED FORMAT!

1-2 NEW TRACKS CREATED, RECORDED AND DIGITALLY AVAILABLE EVERY THREE WEEKS

FIRST SINGLE, ‘I HEARD IT TODAY’, COMING 9/9! FOLLOWING SINGLES RELEASED ON 9/23, 10/14, 11/4 (ELECTION DAY). FULL ALBUM AVAILABLE 1/20/2009 (INAUGURATION DAY)

The voice of the people is back!!! Mr. Lif returns with more cutting edge political commentary in his new series titled I Heard It Today. Presented in a completely unprecedented manner, Mr. Lif will write and release 1-2 songs every three weeks until Election Day (November 4), following which Mr. Lif will release one more single based on his post electoral thoughts. This single will preface the release of the I Heard It Today (Bloodbot Tactical Enterprises) full length on Inauguration Day (January 20, 2009). The album will feature additional unreleased tracks and corresponding artwork.

Mr. Lif has his hands on the pulse of American society as he rhymes uncompromisingly about important issues that currently affect us. We are looking toward perhaps the most anticipated administration change in American history, and I Heard It Today boldly holds a mirror to the face of the society we have created and perpetuated. As one of the most versatile voices in the game, Mr Lif has enlisted some of hip-hops most talented producers (J Zone, Edan, and Illmind, among others) to create awareness on current political issues and agendas for Americans and the global community.

Mr. Lif adds, “With a new administration on the horizon, many of us are hoping things will change for the better. We are all hoping our voices will be heard and our concerns met with solutions. This project allows me to voice and magnify the all too often ignored opinions of the American people. My research has led me to speak with so many citizens nation wide, and the stories of your struggles combined with the knowledge of my own struggles have given birth to the project now known as I Heard It Today. “

In addition, Mr. Lif will be issuing regular “Presidential Reports” commenting on recent events in national and world politics. “The Presidential Report, Vol. 1″ tackles tension between Obama and McCain and the recently erupted conflict between Russia and Georgia, and can currently be heard on Mr. Lif’s MySpace page (www.myspace.com/mrlif). Stay tuned as more “Presidential Reports” are sure to follow, connecting the dots between each new installment of I Heard it Today.

AllHipHop.com will host exclusive streams of the tracks one day prior to release. They will then become available to fans worldwide, via The Orchard, through hundreds of digital music store and wireless carriers, including iTunes, eMusic, Amazon, Rhapsody, Napster, Verizon Wireless, AT&T, Sprint and more.

Interviews: A Tribe Called Quest, The Pharcyde, Flogging Molly, Supernatural, DJ Zegon & Squeak E Clean

More interviews, more hot content, more Ali for your eyes to feast on.

A Tribe Called Quest:

The Pharcyde (part one of two):

Supernatural @ Rock The Bells Press Conference:

Flogging Molly (part one of five):

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Hanging with DJ Zegon and Squeak E Clean at their studio: